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Do You Notice the Signs When Someone Is Lying?
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Body Language
While body language cues can offer clues to deceptions, it is often not good enough. More accurate signals are:
- Intentionally leaving out important details.
- If the person seems unsure or insecure.
- Shrugging, lack of expression, and a bored posture.
- Thinking too hard to fill in the details of the story.
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Ask Them to Tell Their Story in Reverse
The passive process of observing a potential liar's body language and facial expressions to spot lies is limited.
Adopt a more active approach by asking the individual to relate their story in reverse order rather than chronological order.
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Trust Your Instincts
People often rely on stereotypical behaviors that are often associated with lying such as fidgeting or shifty eyes. But these signs are simply old wives' tales.
Your first gut reactions might be more accurate than any conscious lie detection you might attempt.
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To lie is human
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Lying increases with maturity
The increase in lying is driven by the development of the ability to see the world from someone else's perspective. We gain an understanding of the beliefs, intentions, and knowledge of others.
The more we lie, the easier it becomes. Among two-year-olds, only 30 percent are untruthful. Among three-year-olds, 50 percent lie. By eight, kids learn to mask their lying by deliberately giving a wrong answer or making their statement seem like a guess.
Why we limit our lies
We like to see ourselves as honest because we have internalized honesty as a value taught to us. We generally place limits on how much we are willing to lie.
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Lies Motivated By Compassion
When we decide to lie, we privilege some other value over honesty. The value is often compassion, as people lie more about their feelings than about anything else.
Those who tell...
Lies Motivated By Desire for Material Gain
One factor that prevents people from lying for personal gain is the need/desire to see oneself as a moral person.
Desire to Maintain a Positive Self-Concept
- People sometimes lie to themselves or others out of a need to see themselves positively.
- People often experience greater positive emotions when exaggerating their intelligence or skill to themselves or others.
- Liars driven by the desire to see themselves positively can forget that their dishonesty contributed to their success. Consequently, they may make misguided bets about their future performance.
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Narcissists are often pathological liars
Narcissists lack empathy, so telling the truth does not matter to them. They may not even realize they are lying most of the time, because they are not aware of it.
Don't ma...
Compulsive liars are not necessarily bad people
Compulsive liars are often too careless to tell the truth. They don't take the time to think things through.
Although it is really hard to break this habit, they need to learn to control their urge to lie.