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The real distress from an unpleasant situation comes from the reaction to the situation, not from the initial event itself.
If you can avoid reacting when uncontrollable events happen, you can reduce your stress and improve your effectiveness and well-being.
Hold your reaction and observe the situation with curiosity from a bird's eye view.
Self-Regulation is the ability to stay calm and collected in the middle of a distressing situation.
Develop the skill to see the initial situation and your reaction to it separately. Self-regulation (self-calming) helps you recognize your emotions and not to react based on your emotions.
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Reactive people believe the world is happening to them. They focus on things that are in their circle of concern, but not in their circle of influence.
Proactive people recognize th...
Start with a clear destination to determine your steps. Identify your values and live by them.
Prioritize your day-to-day actions based on what is most important, not what is most urgent.
Be disciplined to follow these actions regardless of how you feel at any given moment. Maintain a primary focus on relationships and results, and a secondary focus on time.
At the beginning of every week, write a two-by-two matrix on a blank sheet of paper.
One side of the matrix says "urgent" and "not urgent". The other side of the matrix says "important"...
These are the most pressing tasks we'll likely get to this week. When we do fire-fighting, it's all relating to stuff in this quadrant.
These are the things that matter in the long-term but will offer no concrete benefits right now or even this year. They are things we know we need to get to but probably will push off.
You can’t really clean up your schedule if you don’t know what’s in it—and that includes all the things on your literal and official calendar and all the things that aren’t.
Once you know what’s on your calendar, ask yourself: “What is the purpose of each thing on here? Are we accomplishing that or does something need to change?”
Question each task. Start with recurring meetings, which can very easily build up and take over your calendar.
... and put them in one of four quadrants: