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5 ways to build lasting self-esteem

https://ideas.ted.com/5-ways-to-build-lasting-self-esteem/

ideas.ted.com

5 ways to build lasting self-esteem
Many of us recognize the value of improving our feelings of self-worth. When our self-esteem is higher, we not only feel better about ourselves, we are more resilient as well. Brain scan studies demonstrate that when our self-esteem is higher, we are likely to experience common emotional wounds such as rejection and failure as less painful, and bounce back from them more quickly.

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Build lasting self-esteem

Build lasting self-esteem
  • Use positive affirmations correctly and make them more believable.
  • Identify your competencies and find opportunities that accentuate them.
  • Learn to accept compliments, even if they make you uncomfortable.
  • Eliminate self-criticism and introduce self-compassion.
  • Affirm your real worth.

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Symptoms of a Low Self-Esteem

Symptoms of a Low Self-Esteem

The most common symptoms are:

  • Not trusting your own opinion
  • Always overthinking
  • Afraid to take on a challenge
  • Ha...

What Causes A Low Self-Esteem

Causes of low self-esteem are often traced back to negative early childhood experiences, such as frequent punishment or neglect, chronic abuse, bullying, and lack of affection.

We form our bottom line (how people treat us) in childhood. Based on the bottom line, we form our "Rules for Living," which are strategies for dealing with life.

Having Low Self-Esteem: The Consequences

  • You expect people to mistreat you. When people are friendly to you, you can easily mistake it for love and scare them away.
  • It makes you have a lower hand in the relationship. You may bear things in a relationship that you shouldn't stand for.
  • Though you may be very gifted, you may not know how to show it and make it difficult for your employers to appreciate your talents. During a meeting, people with low self-esteem will keep quiet or speak weakly. During daily conversations, they say sorry and maybe too often.
  • It can lead to depression.

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Self-Esteem And Self-Worth

Self-Esteem And Self-Worth

Self-esteem is defined as your personal value, the all-embracing sense of self-worth. It is affected by your childhood experiences, genetics and other factors that may be not in yo...

Self-Talk And Self-Doubt

How Self-Esteem impacts our daily life:

  • Self-Talk: A constant dialogue that we have with ourselves, where our own mind becomes our enemy, talking us out of doing what can help us grow and learn with many ‘logical’ excuses/reasons.
  • Self-Doubt: If one is robbed out of all the confidence, it is difficult to work towards commitments, or taking calculated risks, as self-doubt and second-guessing create a toxic environment.

The William James Formula For Self-Esteem

According to ‘The Principles Of Psychology’, an 1890 book by William James, known as the father of American psychology, self-worth is based on our actual achievements and our aspirations, as in the equation below:

Self-Esteem = Success/Pretensions.

The equation simply means that if we have more success, we have good self-esteem. The idea is to focus on our strengths, skills and in those areas where we can do something meaningful.

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence (EQ or EI) can be defined as the ability to understand, manage, and effectively express one's own feelings, as well as engage and navigate successfully with those of oth...

Reduce Negative Emotions

... so they don't overwhelm you and affect your judgment. 

In order to change the way you feel about a situation, you must first change the way you think about it. 

Increased fear of rejection: “I’m applying for my dream job. I’ll be devastated if they don’t hire me.”
Decreased fear of rejection: “I’m applying for three exciting positions. If one doesn’t pan out, there are two more I’m well qualified for.”

Stay Cool and Manage Stress

How we handle stressful situations can make the difference between being assertive versus reactive, and poised versus frazzled. When under pressure, the most important thing to keep in mind is to keep our cool. 

  • If you feel nervous and anxious, put cold water on your face and get some fresh air. 
  • If you feel fearful, depressed, or discouraged, try intense aerobic exercises. Energize yourself.