Say This, Not That: 5 Phrases to Improve Discussion

Most people have more in common than they think. A genuine agreement is a great tool during an argument. Saying, "You're right" or "I agree with you" can establish some common ground to have a productive or meaningful conversation.

Along with that, you should still avoid saying "You're wrong" as it immediately puts someone on their guard and alienates them.

We don't know everything, especially when it comes to someone else's beliefs and opinions. People are complex. Someone who belongs to a political party, group, or religion, may not agree with everything that group does or believes.

When someone is trying to explain how they feel, don't assume you already know. Instead, ask clarifying questions. Repeat back what they say to demonstrate and build comprehension.

Often, a personal attack has nothing to do with the subject of the argument. Most people have good reasons for thinking or feeling the way they do. People also have good intentions. They don't feel a certain way because they're heartless or mean but believe their opinion is really "better " in some way.

Recognise their good intent and refuse to use ad hominem attacks to bring them down and thus "win" the argument.

Sometimes it is best to say nothing at all. For example, if one or both of you are getting emotional or worked up, you're repeating the same arguments, or arguments are starting to get personal.

If you get to the point where your relationship might be in jeopardy, or you're starting to be unkind, it's okay to let it go. If the discussion needs to be stopped, be the one to stop it.