When faced with challenges which of the two sounds more like you?
If you're the former, then you're more likely to be an overfunctioner while the latter, an underfunctioner.
The relationship between an overfunctioner and an underfunctioner translates into dangerously reinforcing each other's habits: The overfunctioner takes on more than their fair share of responsibility from housework to finances while only reinforcing the underfunctioner's dependency.
A relationship like this often curdles that could to lead to fighting or nagging. This applies not only to romantic relationships but it could also be happening at work and between family members.
In situations as such where nagging becomes constant and it's unbearable to stand, Harriet Lerner, suggests that the overfunctioner needs to take a step back and do less.
The overfunctioner should potentially allow bad things to happen. This is called the "hanging in" method.
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