Ideas from books, articles & podcasts.
The former head of the FBI’s behavioural analysis program, Robin Dreeke has studied human interpersonal relations for about three decades.
He has some expert advice on how to put strangers at ease, and how to use your body language like a pro, among other things.
Contradicting others does not build good relations, because as soon as people hear contradicting information that is proving them wrong, their logical instincts get shut down and they slide into a fight-or-flight response.
While it does feel good to one-up someone with a c...
Stop thinking about what you are going to say next when someone else stops talking.
Simply be curious and hear out what the other person is saying, even if you are listening but not shutting up mentally, you are not really listening, but are thinking about what you want to say. Ignore tha...
Asking people to talk and simply listening to them makes you a better conversationalist and extremely likeable.
The basics of active listening are:
Everyone has struggles, obstacles and challenges in life. Asking about what kind of challenges the other person is going through is an ideal path to a great conversation. The challenges they may have could be at work, or at home.
Seeking advice is one of the best ways ...
If you tell someone you are leaving in a minute, they are relaxed and open to listening to you, but if you are at a bar and offer a drink to someone, their shields go up. Tell them when you are leaving, upfront.
If the approach is preceded by inquiring politely if they hav...
Just like our words need to be positive, vibrant and free of ego, your body language has to match, and a smile is the best way to portray it quickly. A gentle smile with a palms-up gesture suggests openness and comfort. Smile slowly, not in a hurry, and don't grin.
If we encounter manipulative people using psychology to gain an unfair advantage, be upfront and honest without being hostile. Seek further clarity in their motives and goals and the underlying reasons.
We need to focus on trust, not the various tricks in the book, to earn respect. Trust i...
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