Learn more about personaldevelopment with this collection
How to find common interests
How to be a good listener
How to overcome social anxiety
Stay Focused
- Your attention when apologizing should be on the impact of your words or deeds, not on your intention.
- Zero in on the situation at hand and stay attuned to the needs of the person who is hurting.
- It's not the two words 'I'm sorry' that heal the injury. The hurt party wants to know that we really get it, that we validate their feelings and care.
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No ifs or buts
- A sincere apology does not include caveats or qualifiers.
- 'But' almost always signifies a rationalisation, a criticism, or an excuse
- It doesn't matter if what you say after the 'but' is...
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Good apology or No apology
- Most of us haven't been taught how to apologise
- Our efforts tend to be harmful: vague, intrusive, demanding, or full of warnings that can leave the recipient of an apology feeling even worse.
- When the apology is absent or it's a bad apology, it puts a cra...
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A good apology
- A good apology is an opportunity for us to take clear and direct responsibility for our wrongdoing
- We shouldn’t blame, evade, make excuses or bring up the past.
- A good apology brims with accountability
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Be real.
- Show genuine sorrow and remorse.
- It feels vulnerable to not be in control of the outcome, but it is also courageous.
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Drop your defences
- We listen for what we don't agree with, so we can defend ourselves and correct the facts.
- Keep an open mind and listen with an explicit intention to understand the other person.
- Try to wrap your brain around the essence of what ...
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Remember: A good apology is a beginning, not an end.
- An apology isn't the only chance you ever get to address the underlying issue. The apology is the chance you get to establish the ground for future communication.
- An apology creates an opening. When done with attention
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Less is more
- Keep your apology short and mind the histrionics.
- Over-apologising is not only irritating — it disrupts the flow of the conversation and shifts the focus away from the person who needs to be attended to
- You've h...
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Other curated ideas on this topic:
Four Steps To An Authentic Repair
- Acknowledge the offense. Let the person affected know that you are taking accountability for your words and your actions.
- Express remorse. A sincere "I'm sorry" is sufficient. Let go of the fear that you might be letting go of your power.
- ...
Saying Stuff We Regret
- We are all social creatures, susceptible to say something that may offend others.
- We blurt out stuff, and it is at most a harmless mistake to us, but words hurt others more than anything.
- The wound our words make is an internal one and as needs a ‘repair’ ...
How To Break The Cycle Of Negative Thinking
Talk to someone.
As we voice our thoughts and feelings to someone we trust, we may find ourselves re-thinking our opinion as we speak.
And even if not, we give that person the chance to give valuable feedback, to put on their
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