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How to Make a Good First Impression, According to Experts | Time
Know your context
It’s important to first consider where you are trying to make a good impression—whether it’s a formal job interview or a dinner date.
Context matters. It gives you cues as to how you should dress, speak, look and behave, in a way that matches the setting you are entering to. That is a key aspects of making a good impression.
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First impressions
In less than one-tenth of a second of seeing someone for the first time, our brain processes information about the person’s face—which leads to quick conclusions about a new acquaintance’s qualities, including trustworthiness, competency, friendliness, honesty and morality.
Adjust your attitude
Try not to look bored, rude or hostile.
A useful attitude is welcoming, curious and enthusiastic: smile, make eye contact long enough to notice the color of that person’s eyes, sit without crossing your arms or legs. This project a positive, open warm impression.
Search for common ground
We tend to like people who are a little bit similar to us.
Start with your shared environment, ike commenting on the weather or something you notice in your surroundings, then move to facts, ike the reason you’re gathering or a recent news story. You’re likely to find something you both connect with.
Shift the focus from yourself to others
People always remember how you made them feel.
Taking the focus off of yourself and putting it on someone else can help others perceive you in a better light: make someone feel appreciated, find a point of commonality to bond over or share something interesting you’ve learned.
Get a good night’s sleep
While appearing overly fatigued might not be an accurate portrayal of who you are, it can adversely contribute to people’s first impression of you.
And multiple studies suggest poor sleep cand lead others to perceive you as less attractive, less smart, more depressed and less healthy.
Be genuine
If you’re constantly worried about whether or not you’re doing or saying the right thing, you could appear insincere or too strategic.
And if your nerves are getting the best of you but the setting allows for candor, admitting to your nerves can help show your true self and may be used to your advantage.
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Procrastination
Procrastination is not just avoiding or delaying a task.
It also has to include an aspect that’s counterproductive, irrational or unnecessary.
Procrastination triggers
- People procrastinate because of a lack of value [associated with the task];
- because they expect that they’re not going to achieve the value they’re trying to achieve;
- because the value is too far from you in terms of time;
- or because you’re very impulsive as a person.
If timing is the issue
Many people are inherently more productive at certain times of the day.
Work around these natural productivity ebbs and flows when you schedule your days.
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Reframe or divert
The first step in approaching a negative situation with an optimistic outlook is to accept what you can’t change.
Once you’ve done that, you have 2 options: reframe ( look ...
Savor the good
Noticing and savoring the pleasant moments and thinking, "Wow, this is really great "can strengthen positive emotions.
In general, we tend to dwell on the negative side and not notice the positive things we experience.
Set reminders
Write yourself a message on a sticky note and attach it to your computer screen at work (an inspirational quote, a reminder to smile, etc).
Small reminders like these help keep positivity front and center in your life.
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Four Seconds: The Silent Treatment As Negotiation
Awkward silences have many uses. It can be used to convey power, to exert influence over the other, and to keep the other person in uncertainty. Silence, according...
Our Need For Closure
A psychological study looked into the need for closure of individuals, and how bothered people are when they are faced with disorder, chaos, lack of information and lack of resolution.
It concluded that our personality traits make us crave for closure, with people who like tidiness, orderliness and resolution desiring closure more than the ones who are okay with things being incomplete and messy.
Your Secret Superpower: Silence
- Many CEOs and entrepreneurs know that being comfortable with uncertainty and awkward silence can be a superpower.
- Candidates negotiating for their salary can use this superpower of being silent (and giving out no non-verbal information too) when the initial job offer is doled out to them, as the starting salary initially offered is rarely the higher bracket.
- If one is able to manage the discomfort with ease, silence can be used to great effect without being confrontational.
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