Why we vent

1. We want reassurance. All of us have our weak areas we are dissatisfied with. We need the kind of friend who understands our thoughts and weaknesses, so we can feel safe in letting down our guard.
2. We want to have fun with people who can be silly wit...

Research shows we feel more comfortable around people who are vulnerable because they seem authentic. When we recognize someone as being inauthentic or "putting on airs", it makes us uncomfortable and we feel less connected to them.

This seems to come from a basis of trust.

It's not j...

We spend so much time in the performance zone because most of the time our environments often are, unnecessarily, high stakes. But there are still things we can do about it:

• We can create low-stakes islands in an otherwise high-stakes sea.
• W...