Always say less - Deepstash

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Always say less

Always say less

Charming people already know what they know. They want to know what you know.

598

922 reads

MORE IDEAS ON THIS

Show a little vulnerability

Show a little vulnerability

Charming people are confident enough to be unafraid to show a little vulnerability. They're even willing to admit a weakness or a failure.

They know that while some people may be, at least temporarily, impressed by what's artificial, everyone sincerely likes and appreciates the genui...

556

785 reads

The waiter test

The waiter test

If you really want to know how an individual treats people, take him to lunch. How he interacts with the waiter is a much better indication of his interpersonal skills than how he interacts with you.

Charming people treat everyone the same way: as deserving of respect and kindness.

488

727 reads

Masters of social jiu-jitsu

Masters of social jiu-jitsu

Charming people ask sincere questions that make it easy to answer in a thoughtful, introspective way. They make you think, in a good way, about yourself, and in the process make you feel charming too.

You feel like the most interesting man (or woman) in the world. And you like them f...

556

754 reads

Admitting mistakes

Admitting mistakes

Charming people don't mind serving as a cautionary tale. They don't mind being a source of laughter, for others and for themselves.

And they're also not afraid to look a little silly. When you own your foibles, people don't laugh at you. They laugh with you. And they realize it's ...

529

660 reads

The power of touch

Touch can influence behavior, increase the chances of compliance and make the person doing the touching seem more attractive and friendly.

Say you're congratulating someone; shaking hands or (possibly better yet, depending on the situation) patting them gently on the shoulder or uppe...

512

723 reads

Show genuine interest

Show genuine interest

Maintain eye contact. Smile when the other person smiles. Frown when they frown.

In simple, nonverbal ways, mimic the other's person's behavior--not slavishly, but because you're focused on what they're saying.

That feedback loop helps two people bond--and the ability to bon...

745

1.11K reads

Search for agreement instead of contradiction

Search for agreement instead of contradiction

Charming people don't actively (or unknowingly) look to disagree; they look for points of agreement. 

Then, if it's appropriate, they gently share a different point of view, and in that way, help create an outstanding conversation.

555

789 reads

Remember names

Remember names

Charming people remember names and even small details, often to a surprising degree. 

The fact they remember instantly makes us feel a little prouder and a little better about ourselves. And that makes us feel better about them.

507

706 reads

Never name drop

Never name drop

Charming people may know cool people, but they don't talk about it. And that only adds to their charm.

443

810 reads

MORE LIKE THIS

Never name drop

Never name drop

Charming people may know cool people, but they don't talk about it. And that only adds to their charm.

Say No

Say No

Most people are afraid to say no. Maybe you don’t want to let people down. Maybe you are uncomfortable with the word no. Doesn’t matter, really. What matters is this: If you keep saying yes, you’re living someone else’s life.

Think about it. Deep down, we all know that it’...

Closeness-communication bias

Once you know people well enough to feel close, there is a tendency to not listen carefully to them, because you think you already know what they are going to say.

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