Principles to Remember - Deepstash
Managing People

Learn more about communication with this collection

Conflict resolution

Motivating and inspiring others

Delegation

Managing People

Discover 57 similar ideas in

It takes just

7 mins to read

Principles to Remember

Do:

  • Explain that you have a different opinion and ask if you can voice it.
  • Restate the original point of view or decision so it’s clear you understand it.
  • Speak slowly — talking in an even tone calms you and the other person down.

Don’t:

  • State your opinions as facts; simply express your point of view and be open to dialogue.
  • Use judgment words, such as “hasty,” “foolish,” or “wrong,” that might upset or incite your counterpart.

1.25K

2.1K reads

MORE IDEAS ON THIS

Don’t make judgments

When you move on to expressing your concerns, watch your language carefully. Avoid any judgment words that might set off your counterpart. Share only facts.

978

1.71K reads

Validate the original point

Articulate the other person’s point of view. 

Stating it clearly, possibly even better than your counterpart did, lays a strong foundation for the discussion. You want your counterpart to say: "She/He understands."

971

1.8K reads

Decide whether to wait

You may decide to hold off voicing your opinion if you want to gather your army first. People can contribute experience or information to your thinking — all the things that would make the disagreement stronger or more valid. 

Also, delay the conversation if you’re in a meeting or...

998

2.41K reads

Ask permission to disagree

It’s a smart way to give the powerful person “psychological safety” and control. 

You can say: “ I have reasons to think that won’t work. I’d like to lay out my reasoning. Would that be OK?” This gives the person a choice, allowing them to verbally opt in.

1.13K

2.24K reads

Be realistic about the risks

Our natural bias is to start by imagining all the things that will go horribly wrong if we disagree with someone more powerful. Yes, your counterpart might be a little upset at first, but most likely you are not going to get fired or make a lifelong enemy.

Consider the risks of no...

1.11K

5.22K reads

Stay humble

Emphasize that you’re offering your opinion, not gospel truth. Remind the person that this is your point of view, and then invite critique. This will leave room for dialogue.

1K

1.8K reads

Identify a shared goal

Before you share your thoughts, think about what the powerful person cares about. You’re more likely to be heard if you can connect your disagreement to a “higher purpose.” 

State it overtly then, contextualizing your statements so that you’re seen not as a disagreeable underling but...

1K

2.16K reads

Stay calm

When your body language communicates reluctance or anxiety, it undercuts the message. 

Simply slowing the pace and talking in an even tone helps calm the other person down and does the same for you. It also makes you seem confident, even if you aren’t.

1.06K

2.03K reads

CURATED FROM

CURATED BY

val_yy

Currently in love with cycling. Obsessed with creating helpful stuff.

Related collections

More like this

7. Don’t make judgments

7. Don’t make judgments

When you move on to expressing your concerns, watch your language carefully to avoid any “judgment words” such as “short-sighted,” “foolish,” or “hasty” that might set off your counterpart; one of his tips is to cut out all adjectives, since “the...

To master the art of personal magnetism

  • Speak slowly. Visualize the slow, emphatic tone of a judge delivering a verdict.
  • Pause. Those who show confidence often pause for a second or two between sentences.
  • Drop intonation. Lowering the tone of your voice at the e...

Win people to your way of thinking

  • The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
  • Never say, “You’re wrong.” Respect the other person’s opinions.
  • If you are wrong, admit it.
  • Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
  • Let the other person do a great de...

Read & Learn

20x Faster

without
deepstash

with
deepstash

with

deepstash

Access to 200,000+ ideas

Access to the mobile app

Unlimited idea saving & library

Unlimited history

Unlimited listening to ideas

Downloading & offline access

Personalized recommendations

Supercharge your mind with one idea per day

Enter your email and spend 1 minute every day to learn something new.

Email

I agree to receive email updates