Manipulation is tricking someone into liking you, while charm is just portraying yourself in the best light possible so others can relate and appreciate you. The former is frowned upon, and the latter is a basic social skill.
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Having charm is not about deceiving others. Keep strong negative feelings to yourself, do your best to reveal who you are and if you disagree with something, do so nicely.
No matter how charming you are, there is no guarantee a conversation will lead into a relationship, but being charming at least keeps you in a positive light.
Keep the conversation moving at a comfortable but somewhat brisk pace. Don’t cut the conversation short if things are going well, but also avoid hitting uncomfortable lulls. So when the pace starts to die down, it's time to make an exit.
On your way out make sure that the other remembers you.
Touch is a physical way of indicating acceptance and if properly timed it can be very charming.
There's nothing wrong with a handshake when you introduce yourself, but beyond that, don't abuse touch. Stick to safe zones like the outside of the arm and upper back, and when in doubt, just stick to those handshakes.
If you know some jokes or have a knack for being funny, go for it, but keep it as clean and broadly acceptable as possible to generate charisma. Nothing turns off the charm faster than inappropriate humour.
Witty humor is the safest but it may require some practice. Throwing clever, witty, short comments into conversation will lighten serious tones, endear your listeners and make you sound clever.
People want to be understood and accepted, so you want to be empathetic to them and their experiences as best as you can. Finding commonalities is key to developing emotional connections:
They are words that fit your own interests that you can use to generate more conversation with. If you like to travel and someone starts to talk about going on vacation, you can latch on to "vacation" and use it to segue into stories or questions.
The smile is important because it subconsciously implies that you’re not a threat and makes you look like you're confident and enjoying yourself. People like to be around others enjoying themselves because they will feel more comfortable showing joy.
The wrong kind of smile, however, can be worse than no smile. So keep it friendly and genuine and do it often.
Be extra polite and start with a question. Questions are a great way to get to know someone, but they're also your most effective tool when it comes to being charming.
People like to talk about themselves and to know that others are interested in them. The question can be anything easy to answer that isn't too personal.
Introducing someone you just met to someone else makes you look good and like you know a lot of people, especially if you say they are your friend. It can also help you remember their name.
For bonus charm points, introduce them to a "patsy", or someone that will make you look more charming due to their presence.
We make judgments about someone’s likeability, trustworthiness and competence after seeing their face for less than a tenth of a second.
Making snap judgments might determine who we vote for. It can also influence our financial decisions.
After having introduced yourself, you should find something in common that connects you right away.
It opens the door to more conversation--and keeping words up is key when you first break the ice with a person.