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Habits of People Who Build Extraordinary Relationships

Habits of People Who Build Extraordinary Relationships
  • Take the hit. Few acts are more selfless than taking the undeserved hit and few acts better cement a relationship.
  • Step in without being asked.  They pay close attention so they can tell when others are struggling and then come up with specific ways in which they can help.
  • Answer the question that is not asked. They think about what lies underneath the question so they can answer that question, too.
  • They know when to have fun and when to be serious, when to be over the top and when to be invisible, and when to take charge and when to follow.
  • Prove they think of others. Take a little time every day to do something nice for someone you know, not because you're expected to but simply because you can.
  • Realize when they have acted poorly and apologize before they are asked to.
  • Give consistently, receive occasionally. They think about what they can give, not what they can get.
  • Value the message by always valuing the messenger.

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Narcissistic characteristics
  • having an inflated sense of self
  • needing constant praise
  • taking advantage of others
  • not recognizing or caring about the needs of others

People with narcissistic tendencies are often very sensitive to criticism, despite their high self-esteem.

The way to get others to see your perspective is to ask them for advice. When we ask them for advice, they put themselves in our shoes and look at the world from our point of view.

A common fear is that we may seem less competent, but when we ask for advice, as long as the request is not completely obvious, we appear more competent. Advice signals respect and deference.