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Being a powerful communicator
It doesn’t mean you speak the loudest or most often, but rather that you are getting your message across clearly and also taking in the messages you’re receiving from the people around you.
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How people sort themselves
We all sort ourselves in two distinct ways: We either self-sort or sort by thinking about others.
- Self-sorters look at an interaction or decision and think, “What’s in it for me?”
- Someone who sorts by thinking of others responds to questions by wondering how it will aff...
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Matching or mismatching
If you’re looking to be persuasive with someone, you want to see things through their eyes and communicate in a way they can relate to.
- Matchers look for sameness in the world, trying to understand how things relate to each other.
- Mismatchers see how things are diffe...
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Moving toward or away
Observe if those you’re speaking to are moving toward or away, by asking what that person wants.
If they start listing things they don’t want (they don’t want to fail, they don’t want to be stuck in the same dead-end job) or talking about what they do want (a family, to succeed at t...
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Possibility vs. necessity
- People motivated by possibility make choices based on what they want to do and are hopeful about pursuing the unknown.
- Those who make decisions based on necessity do things because they feel they have to. People who are driven by acts out of a feeling of necessity are ...
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Convincing people
Part of establishing trust, or being able to convince someone, is sensing the different needs of different people.
- If you’re trying to sell someone a product, and they trust you immediately, you know you’re going to be able to do your job.
- If you sense you’re with some...
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Internal and external frames of reference
- When trying to communicate effectively with someone who has an internal frame of reference, appeal to the things they know about themselves. Tie your communication to a personal fact you already know about that person.
- Those with an external frame of reference want to hear ...
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Listen to people
Most people are not listening, but rather trying to be the loudest person in the room.
If you ask questions and listen, you are extremely likely to stand out from the crowd.
Psychological Safety Isn’t About Being Nice
Working in a psychologically safe environment doesn’t mean that people always agree with one another for the sake of being nice. It also doesn’t mean that people offer unequivocal praise or unconditional support for everything you have to say.
Psychological safety is about candour...
Identifying a child’s love language
- It will be helpful for finding little ways to show them extra affection in a personalized way.
- It’s also helpful to know that whatever love language they speak is also the language they are most likely to feel hurt by.
- Even if your child scores high in one or two language...
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