Covert Narcissism - Deepstash
Covert Narcissism

Covert Narcissism

Covert narcissists are a form of narcissism that is lesser known that its counterpart the grandiose narcissist. They are potentially more dangerous because they share the same classic traits of a grandiose but their methods of manipulation are done through a more suble technique.

This variation in the narcissistic personality type is a more recent evolution in our understanding of the topic of narcissism.

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MORE IDEAS FROM Not all narcissists are grandiose – the ‘vulnerable’ type can be just as dangerous

Being Wary of Narcissists

While exercising extreme wariness, we must keep in mind to still show sympathy because narcissists are not born, they are molded by their early environments implanting the message that their true self is not accepted to the point that they need to create a false self.

However, just because we show sympathy towards them does not mean that we are allowing them to step on our boundaries.

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Qualities of a Covert Narcissist
  • They may come off as introverted, shy, innocent, and even caring
  • They give a shoulder to cry on but will use what you share with them against you further down the road with the sole aim of making you feel indebted and grateful
  • They are emotionally persuasive and can guilt-trip you without noticing it
  • They seek status and validation while discarding other people with their feelings of entitlement and lack of empathy but through concealed methods

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The Karpman Drama Triangle

The Karpman Drama Triangle is a model of dysfunctional social interactions that illustrate a power game that includes three roles: the victim, the rescuer, and the persecutor. Each of these roles represent a common and ineffective response to conflict.

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RELATED IDEA

Narcissism As A Defence Mechanism
  • The term Narcissist is named after the beautiful Narcissus, a youth in Ancient Greece who was so self-obsessed with his own reflection that it killed him.
  • A narcissistic attitude is a product of self-loathing, and not self-love, according to an academic study.
  • Narcissism is mostly misunderstood and is in fact a cover-up or a defence mechanism on one’s negative self-worth and deep insecurities.
  • Narcissism can be described as performative self-elevation, where one pretends to be more successful or important than one really is.

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Loves to Talk About Oneself

A pathological narcissist loves to talk about himself, often in exaggerated and grandiose terms. 

Common conversational topics for narcissists include accomplishments and achievements, exciting and envy-worthy activities, excessive focus on personal issues and concerns, excessive focus on looks and materialism, and putting others down to show one’s own superiority.

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Narcissism: Me First

To be narcissistic is to be selfish, manipulative, and ego-driven. But this trait has varying degrees of intensity, from reasonable selfishness to a villainous and psychopathic personality disorder.

Narcissists need not always be the flashy and over-confident people who are not letting others speak. Many narcissists are insecure, self-focused, and are not in the limelight.

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