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How to Conquer Your Fears Once and for All

Create an Action Plan

The key to facing your fears is to take one small step at a time. Going too fast or doing something too scary before you are ready can backfire.

Keep moving forward. A moderate amount of anxiety is good. Don’t wait to take a step forward until your anxiety disappears.

If you can’t actually do the thing that scares you to practice, you might use imagined exposure. 

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

How to Conquer Your Fears Once and for All

How to Conquer Your Fears Once and for All

https://www.verywellmind.com/healthy-ways-to-face-your-fears-4165487

verywellmind.com

4

Key Ideas

Decide if you should face your fear

  • Consider the pros and cons of not facing your fear. 
  • Write those down. 
  • Identify the pros and cons of tackling your fears head-on. 
  • Write down what you might achieve or how your life might be different.

The best way to conquer a fear is to face your fears head-on in a healthy manner that helps you move past the fear rather than in a way that traumatizes you.

Evaluate Risk Level

Just because something feels scary, doesn’t mean it’s actually risky. Educate yourself about the facts and the risks you actually face by doing the things that scare you. 

Create an Action Plan

The key to facing your fears is to take one small step at a time. Going too fast or doing something too scary before you are ready can backfire.

Keep moving forward. A moderate amount of anxiety is good. Don’t wait to take a step forward until your anxiety disappears.

If you can’t actually do the thing that scares you to practice, you might use imagined exposure. 

Seek Professional Help

  • If you have a specific phobia that you are not able to conquer on your own. 
  • If your fears are debilitating, or you aren’t having much success facing them on your own.

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Judy Blume

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Dale Carnegie

"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy."

Eleanor Roosevelt
Eleanor Roosevelt

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

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Why You Self-Sabotage

For many people, the fear of rejection and the fear of engulfment keep them out of relationships.

These fears are based on false beliefs, such as success or failure defines my worth as...

How You Self-Sabotage

Relationships:

  • You keep yourself isolated.
  • You make so many demands on your partner that he or she feels smothered and ends the relationship.
  • You judge everyone you meet as not being good enough for you.

Work:

  • You keep putting off looking for the kind of job you want.
  • You are able to work, and say you want to, but keep living off other means.
  • You stay in a job that you hate.
  • You keep yourself uneducated regarding doing what you really want to do.
Healing Your Self-Sabotaging Behavior
  • Notice self-judgments.
  • Shift your definition of your worth, from outcomes to effort. Decide that you will define your worth by the loving actions you take for yourself and others.
  • Consciously see mistakes and failure as stepping stones to success, rather than as definitions of your worth. 
  • Learn to be kind and compassionate toward your own feelings
  • Make a decision that you are willing to lose another person rather than lose yourself. 
Fear is natural

Unrecognized or unacknowledged core fears are almost always a root cause of professional distress and unattained potential.

The fears are not necessarily bad. A willingness to take a h...

Most common fears
  • Fear of being wrong. People with this fear are extremely focused on rules, ethics, standards, and “right vs wrong.”
  • Fear of not being good enough. Those with this fear tend to be insecure, intensely focused on their image, and desperate to prove their worth. 
  • Fear of missing out. This drives leaders to constantly seek new opportunities and experiences and to pursue multiple interests at once.
  • Fear of being victimized or taken advantage of. Those suffering from this fear feel the need to win every battle and can be defensive and controlling.
Admit your fear

In the first phase, take a close look at your history. Examine the choices you've made and the reasons behind those choices.

For instance, not putting effort into pursuing your own interests but instead, activities in which you can excel could point to the fear of not being good enough.

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Practice and Prepare

Nervousness is normal. But don't associate these feelings with the sense that you will perform poorly or make a fool of yourself.

The best way to overcome this nervousness is to prepa...

Know Your Audience

Your speech is about them, not you. Learn as much about your listeners as you can. This will help you determine your choice of words, level of information, organization pattern, and motivational statement.

Organize Your Material

And do it in the most effective manner. Write down the topic, the general purpose, specific purpose, central idea, and main points. Make sure to grab the audience’s attention in the first 30 seconds.

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The Fear of Public Speaking

Public speaking is often topping the charts as the No. 1 fear in the world.

People feel anxious, sweaty, or have a pounding heart while being on stage in front of an audience.

Practice

A great way to remove a large portion of fear is to practice hard, studying the topic wellYou can research all questions that the audience may ask, and practice the speech in front of a mirror or in front of friends.

Practicing soothes our nerves, making us ready for the final audience.

Bigger Than Your Fears
Finding something bigger than your fear, greater than your anxiety, is a key strategy to get rid of the natural negative emotions.
When you talk about something you are passionate about, the words come naturally, in a flowEven if the words are forgotten, you can easily bounce back, as your inner fire won't let the words fail you.

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Anyone can use humor

Appropriate humor relaxes an audience and makes them feel more comfortable with you as the speaker. 

Humor can bring attention to the point you are making and help the audien...

Developing Anecdotes

The best and most comfortable place to find humor comes from your own personal experience. 

Jot down funny ideas as you come across it that might appeal to your audience - an embarrassing moment that you might not have found funny at the time, or a funny conversation you had. 

Honing the Delivery

Make sure your choose humor is funny to you. First practice with small groups of people. Pay attention to the way your are delivering the joke or quip.

Only use humor in a speech after you are comfortable telling it from memory and have tested it.

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The fear of ceasing to exist

The idea of no longer existing is more than just "fear of death". It arouses a primary existential anxiety in all normal humans.

The fear of heights or falling is basically the fear of extin...

Mutilation

This is the fear of losing any part of our bodily structure or the thought of having our body's boundaries invaded.

Anxiety about animals, such as bugs, spiders, snakes, and other creepy things arises from fear of mutilation.

Loss of Autonomy

The fear of being immobilized, restricted, overwhelmed, entrapped, smothered, or otherwise controlled by circumstances beyond our control. 

Fear of intimacy, or "fear of commitment," is basically fear of losing one's autonomy.

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Introverted vs. extroverted people

If you recover your energy while alone or in quiet surroundings, you’re probably an introverted type of person.

You can experience the benefits of both types when you push yourself to ...

Introverted vs. shy/insecure people
There’s nothing wrong with being an introvert. If you are emotionally unstable, being an introvert can become the biggest enemy of your progress in life.
There’s a big difference between being an introvert and being afraid of public speaking, meeting people and speaking up when necessary. Social anxiety is not introversion, it’s a fear you must face and overcome.
Thinking before speaking and acting
  • Make sure that you speak up when you have something important to say. 
  • Take advantage of your ability to observe other people, the environment you’re in and the energy flow in the room.
  • People will pay more attention to what you say when you do speak up.
  • You probably have the ability to study things better and faster, so when you do say something make sure that it’s an eye-opener.
  • People will trust you more and thus you’ll have access to more privileged information.

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Voice Modulation

You modulate your voice when you change pitch, like when your voice goes up at the end of a question. 
Just like with music, its rhythm and tone can convey a meaning that may be diff...

Use Voice Modulation to Improve Your Speaking Voice
  • If you want your audience to quiet down, to be calm or to perhaps hang on your every word, speak more quietly.
  • f you want to rile up your audience, speak with a stronger voice. You can also use volume to convey your passion.
  • Try not to speak too quickly. Most audiences will have trouble following along. Instead, speak at a moderate pace. Slowing down your speech even more will emphasize each word.
Working With Microphones

Microphones just make any speaking mistakes or tics louder and easier for your audience to detect.

Practice speaking with a microphone before your performance and record your speech. This will help you detect words you have pronounced too loudly and times when hard consonants have caused feedback with the sound system.
Voice as an important tool

Your voice influences the impact of your speech and can make or break its success. 
With some guidance, you can learn to use your voice to increase your power and persuasiveness in a...

Improve Your Public Speaking Voice
  • Slow Down when you speak. Your listeners have an opportunity to absorb and reflect on what you’re saying.
  • Use Voice Exercises to strengthen your voice.
  • Record And Listen To Your Voice. Look for ways to improve your pronunciation, your delivery, and your pacing.
  • Record Phone Conversations. Replay to hear different ways that you could improve your delivery and articulation next time.
  • Focus On Pauses. The drama and power of a speech are contained in the silences that you create as you move from point to point.
  • Eat And Drink Well. Energy is essential for good speaking and voice projection. Cold water can chill your vocal chords and decrease the amount of warmth in your voice.