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The Art of Mindful Communication

The Art of Communication

Talking to another person mindfully should be because you're wanting to "connect" with whomever you're speaking with from a place that is present, kind and respectful.

We have the opportunity to engage with total awareness and recognize the "best of" each other by what we choose to say.

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The Art of Mindful Communication

The Art of Mindful Communication

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/mindful-communication_b_3342760

huffpost.com

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Key Ideas

The Art of Communication

Talking to another person mindfully should be because you're wanting to "connect" with whomever you're speaking with from a place that is present, kind and respectful.

We have the opportunity to engage with total awareness and recognize the "best of" each other by what we choose to say.

Bring out the "best of yourself"

Make a conscious effort to bring out the best in someone else through your communication.

This makes communicating less "me-centric," which is talking to hear yourself talk, or talking "at" someone rather than "with" them, or being more interested in wanting to "capture" their attention for some kind of pay off. 

Painting with words

Consider communication as an empty canvas to paint with words, think of all of the wonderful and beautiful things you can say to another person.

It's helpful to know that what we say to someone else, might not be what we would want said to us.

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Voice as an important tool

Your voice influences the impact of your speech and can make or break its success. 
With some guidance, you can learn to use your voice to increase your power and persuasiveness in a...

Improve Your Public Speaking Voice
  • Slow Down when you speak. Your listeners have an opportunity to absorb and reflect on what you’re saying.
  • Use Voice Exercises to strengthen your voice.
  • Record And Listen To Your Voice. Look for ways to improve your pronunciation, your delivery, and your pacing.
  • Record Phone Conversations. Replay to hear different ways that you could improve your delivery and articulation next time.
  • Focus On Pauses. The drama and power of a speech are contained in the silences that you create as you move from point to point.
  • Eat And Drink Well. Energy is essential for good speaking and voice projection. Cold water can chill your vocal chords and decrease the amount of warmth in your voice.

One of the most common problems in writing a speech is not having a good structure. A speech with bad structure is weak and ineffective. Consider structure as the backbone of your speech

Write a Well-structured Speech
  1. Don't write without a plan. Think, research and brainstorm of what central idea will be in your speech and the topics and hooks you will integrate.
  2. Begin with the end in mind. Ask yourself what would be the message you want to retain to your audience to make the writing easier.
  3. Divide and conquer by breaking down the general message into smaller. It will be easier for you to write and the audience will not have a hard time understanding the theme.
  4. Read and rewrite the speech, then repeat. The most important in every speech is having a smooth flow so that people could follow to where you're going
Listening requires mental work
We mistake listening as easy because it looks passive and instinctive, but in reality it’s hard work. Really listening (and not just appearing to listen) re...
Mistakes we make in conversations
Our general tendency is to:
  • Evaluate: We judge what someone is saying and agree or disagree.
  • Probe: We ask questions from our own frame of reference.
  • Advise: We give counsel, advice, and solutions to problems.
  • Interpret: We analyze others' motives and behaviors based on our own experiences.
What makes a great listener
  • Asking great questions;
  • Playing attention to the nonverbal communication;
  • Forgoing taking detailed notes to pay better attention;
  • Listening with the intent to understand, not the intent to respond;
  • Making people feel heard;
  • Following up on what matters.
Listen

To mindfully listen means to wait patiently for the other person to finish before we speak. Also, it means keeping our mind focused on the speaker, instead of wandering ...

Practise non-judgment

To mindfully converse and avoid conflicts, we need to try our best to refrain from judging the other person’s opinion, story or perspective. We should come to terms with the fact that there is no wrong or right — only different perceptions.

Show understanding

Show others that you understand them. For example, say “I understand” or “I see what you mean.” It gives them a sense of comfort that their words and feelings are relatable.

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Cut all the contact

Keep your distance and don’t text, email, meet in person or call.

Cutting the ties for good when it’s over puts you on a faster path to healing.

  • Set up an “Emergency ...
Let Your Emotions Out

Cry, sob your eyes out, scream and yell. As long as it doesn’t hurt yourself or anybody else, find ways to release and let go of the pain you may be feeling. 

Listen to sad songs. Listening to sad songs can regulate negative emotion and mood as well as consolation. 
Accept the fact that it’s over

Coping with the end of a relationship is a little bit like a 12 step program. You will reach acceptance far sooner by staying away from that person.

Don’t over-analyze what could have been different. Your mission now is to get to the place where you aren’t battling with yourself about the way things are. Do this with compassion and don’t beat yourself up.

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Nonviolent communication

It lets us reframe how we express ourselves and hear others. 

It allows us to speak in terms of what we observe, how we’re feeling, what our needs are, and how we respond to other...

The objective of nonviolent communication

Is to empower functional giving and receiving. 

If implemented correctly, it can replace knee-jerk reactions and old, ineffective patterns. It can be built like any habit.

Observation
  • Take a mental step back and just watch what's happening in the current situation.
  • Record these observations in your mind without assigning value to them
  • Hold back from judgment or evaluation
  • Say what you see, but not what you think of it. Examples: “What I’m hearing you ask me is…” or “I see that you want this…”

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The Reason We Communicate
The Reason We Communicate

The essence of communication is to inform, influence, inspire, motivate, learn, socialize and build relationships. Communication makes possible persuasion, negotiation, and improve...

Improving Your Diction

Your style of speaking, or writing, choice of words while conveying your idea, or point of view are very powerful components in communicating with effectiveness and purpose.

The right word said the right way can make all the difference.

Increase Engagement

Your words need to be interesting both in terms of content (what is being said) and delivery (how it is being said) to be able to draw the people towards what you are trying to say.

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Voice Modulation

You modulate your voice when you change pitch, like when your voice goes up at the end of a question. 
Just like with music, its rhythm and tone can convey a meaning that may be diff...

Use Voice Modulation to Improve Your Speaking Voice
  • If you want your audience to quiet down, to be calm or to perhaps hang on your every word, speak more quietly.
  • f you want to rile up your audience, speak with a stronger voice. You can also use volume to convey your passion.
  • Try not to speak too quickly. Most audiences will have trouble following along. Instead, speak at a moderate pace. Slowing down your speech even more will emphasize each word.
Working With Microphones

Microphones just make any speaking mistakes or tics louder and easier for your audience to detect.

Practice speaking with a microphone before your performance and record your speech. This will help you detect words you have pronounced too loudly and times when hard consonants have caused feedback with the sound system.
You don’t paraphrase or restate

Practice paraphrasing instead of responding with nods, a-ha's, and yeah's. 

This type of communicating makes your partner feel like they are getting real attention and empathy.

Focusing on the person instead of the issue

Try to talk about the issue at hand and how it makes you feel.

For example:
“It makes me feel frustrated that you forgot what I wanted. Is there a way I can help you to remember next time?”

Not showing your appreciation

It is important to remind your partner you appreciate them. 

This generates a warm and loving atmosphere as a backdrop to your relationship.

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Sir Ken Robinson: The Most Popular Ted Talk Of All Time
Sir Ken Robinson: The Most Popular Ted Talk Of All Time

The Late Sir Ken Robinson found his ideas on education resonate with the world when his 2006 TED Talk gradually became the most viewed talk in the history of TED, with more than 65 million views.

Sir Ken Robinson: A Story Told Well

Sir Ken Robinson was a known voice in subjects like creativity, education and human potential even before the video “Why Schools Kill Creativity", but this famous TED Talk introduced his impressive public-speaking skills to an even bigger audience.

In his crisp, humorous and engaging speech, Sir Ken Robinson points out the glaring flaws in the current education system, which is only concerned about grading and conformity and does not nurture the creativity of children.

Sir Ken Robinson: Using Humor in Public Speaking
  • “If they’re laughing, they’re listening,” Robinson replied to an interviewer. In his most famous TED talk, the laughs start early.
  • Social psychologists have found that humor scores points with an audience. The humor Ken Robinson’s used was mostly self-deprecating.

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