Say the name back - Deepstash
Say the name back

Say the name back

The moment the other person says their name, make sure to say it back to them because it will show you as a thoughtful person, but of course don't say their name for every response.

Saying a name back to someone is helpful most especially when someone has a unique name that you don't encounter everyday. However, make sure to ask for the correct pronunciation right away so that it won't be awkward the next time you meet.

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Stop saying you're bad at names
  • Saying that phrase makes the other person feel like they're not worth a little extra effort on your part to make their name stick
  • The phrase reeks of arrogance because they're trying to get to know your name while you're not
  • It immediately makes the conversation about you and your goldfish-like memory
  • You're trying to absolve yourself from the responsibility of learning other people's names

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Say the name slowly and intentionally

When the conversation starts to wrap up, say the other person's name again and look them in the eye while doing so.

For example: The conversation is nearing to an end, both people say their goodbyes and shakes hands as they start to part their ways. Mario reaches his hand out for a handshake and says "Paula, it's been nice meeting you, and I hope to see you again." Paula is delighted that Mario still remembers her name and replies "Mario, I had a wonderful time. Let's meet again."

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Don't be afraid to ask again

Although it might feel terrifying, when you forget someone's name, it's much more shameful to mistakenly call them with a different name. Asking the other person for their name again means that you're trying to do better by that person.
Name = Apology + Detail about the other person + Permission to know their name again

An effective formula for asking for their name again and apologize goes like this: "Gosh, I am so sorry. I was so shocked to find out that you were also a fan of this sports team and it's rare to find fans like us in this area. Can you please tell me your name again?"

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Make associations in your head

When meeting a new person, sometimes it can be really hard to remember their names however a caveat to this could be to try and associate them with something, but of course don't tell them what's going on in your head while you're making an association.

In order to make the association sick, try to make it as crazy as possible.

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RELATED IDEAS

The Shape Of The Name

Almost universally, our minds link sounds with certain shapes or visuals. The sound of B, M, L and O being associated with round shapes and the sound of K, T, P and I giving a picture of a spiky, thin shape.

People tend to perceive names as round or spiky and imagine these personalities on people they haven’t met or seen. Example: Names like Bob or Molly are perceived as round.

This unconscious association is known as the Bouba-Kiki Effect.

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It is common courtesy to spell out or pronounce the name of a colleague correctly. However, many people with non-generic or non-western names face a problem of their name not being registered in the right way in other people's minds.

This results in a less inclusive workplace, both physical or virtual, for people who are from diverse backgrounds.

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Dale Carnegie

“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.”

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