Look At It As A Conversation - Deepstash

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Look At It As A Conversation

Look At It As A Conversation

Go back to the concept of talking with someone rather than talking to someone.

It can help keep the other person cool, which pretty much always means you've won the argument.

Try To Politely Disengage

Try To Politely Disengage

If the other person is truly getting out of control, it's often best to disengage. A perfect phrase to drop is: 'If you say so.'

Use "I" Statements

Use "I" Statements

Instead of casting blame and saying things like "you did this" and "you did that," try using "I" statements.

An 'I' statement stops people from becoming defensive when bringing up a topic of concern.

Try To Be More Persuasive

Try To Be More Persuasive

During an argument, think like a salesperson and try to be as persuasive as possible. Facts don't persuade, emotions do.

To pull on the other person's heartstrings, toss in some imagery or relate the story back to them. Hopefully, they'll calm down and see things your way.

Switch Perspective

Switch Perspective

Step into the mind of the person you are arguing with and see their view.

This allows you to figure out what is influencing them and you can come back with a powerful counter-argument.

Don't Lose Your Cool

Don't Lose Your Cool

Losing your temper will only anger the other person, which will heighten the argument.

If you can keep things calm, you might even be able to stop the argument. 

Make It All About Them

Make It All About Them

We naturally approach the world from our own points of view,

The key to successful persuasion is to show how and why something matters in relation to that person's life and experience.

Keep Your Facts Straight

Keep Your Facts Straight

Quoting incorrect information weakens your point, which is essentially an automatic loss. 

Check your facts and avoid yelling about any old thing. If you aren't sure about something, you can always say, "I'd need to look into that."

Validate Their Feelings

Saying things like 'I understand why you'd feel that way...' or 'Anyone would feel like that in the same situation' validates the other person's emotions and completely disarms them.

Avoid Using Exaggerations

Avoid Using Exaggerations

Words like "everybody, always, never" are broad generalizations.

They make your point unbelievable, while also angering whoever you're talking to.

Respect Their Point Of View

Respect Their Point Of View

The best way to keep an argument calm is to be as kind as possible. Respectfully acknowledge the other person's viewpoint, even if you don't agree with it.

Say things like "I see what you're saying there," or "That's a good point.

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