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Seven Ways to Feel More in Control of Your Life
Associate selectively
It’s impossible not to be affected by those around us—it’s easy to “catch” their emotions and our brains tend to synch up when we associate with other people.
We should set boundaries with difficult people, disentangle yourself from negative online interactions, and be more conscious of how you might be vulnerable to “groupthink”—pressures to behave or think in ways that are contrary to your values.
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Key Ideas
What Self-Reflection Is
Is the process of thinking back on previous events and interpreting them through your experience.
It’s about taking a step back and reflecting on your life, behavior and beliefs....
The Importance of Self-Reflection
- It improve self-awareness.
- It allows you to understand and see things from a different point of view.
- It allows you to respond, not react.
- It facilitates a deeper level of learning.
- It improves confidence.
- It makes you challenge your assumptions.
The Process of Self-Reflection
- STOP: Take a step back from life or a particular situation.
- LOOK: Identify and get perspective on what you notice and see.
- LISTEN: Listen to your inner guide, the innate wisdom that bubbles up when you give it time and space to emerge.
- ACT: Identify the steps you need to take moving forward to adjust, change or improve.
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Key Ideas
Kakeibo
Kakeibo translates as "household financial ledger" and is a simple approach to managing your finances.
For the past 116 years, kakeibo has been effective in helping people make smarter fin...
Your relationship with money
The idea behind kakeibo is to help you understand the relationship with money by keeping a ledger with all incoming and outgoing transactions.
The difference from other budgeting systems is that kakeibo emphasizes the importance of physically writing things down as a way to observe your spending habits.
Reduce impulse buying
- Can I live without this item?
- Based on my financial situation, can I afford it?
- Will I actually use it? Do I have space for it?
- How did I come across it in the first place? (Did I come across it after wandering into a gift shop out of boredom?)
- What is my emotional state in general today? (Calm? Stressed?)
- How do I feel about buying it? (Happy? Excited? Indifferent?)
- How long will this feeling last?
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Key Ideas
Controlling your emotions
The ability to recognize, own, and shape your own emotions is the master skill for deepening intimacy with loved ones, magnifying influence in the workplace, and amplifying our ability to turn idea...
Own the emotion
You can’t change an emotion you don’t own.
Accept responsibility for its existence. Because an external event always precedes your experience of an emotion, it’s easy to assume that the event caused it. But as long as you believe it was externally caused, you are going to be a victim to your emotions.
Name the story
Emotions are the result of both what happens, and of the story you tell yourself about what happened.
- A victim story: it absolves you of your responsibility for what happened.
- A villain story: it exaggerates the faults of others and makes them responsible for what happened.
- A helpless story: it convinces you that any course of action is pointless.