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4 Types of Difficult People and How to Deal With Them | Science of People

Disengaging difficult personalities

Don't try changing people, try understanding them.

When you try to change someone they tend to resent you, dig in their heels, and get worse. The way to disengage a difficult person is to try understanding where they are coming from.

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4 Types of Difficult People and How to Deal With Them | Science of People

4 Types of Difficult People and How to Deal With Them | Science of People

https://www.scienceofpeople.com/difficult-people/

scienceofpeople.com

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Key Ideas

4 different types of difficult people

  • The Downers (the Negative Nancys): almost impossible to please, they always have something bad to say. They complain, critique and judge. 
  • The Know It Alls: They like to show off and to impress. They use name-dropping and comparisons.
  • The Passives: They don’t contribute much and let others do the hard work.
  • The Tanks: They are explosive and bossy. They want their way and will do anything to get it.

Finding The Value Language

When trying to understand difficult people, search for their value language.

A value language is what someone values most. It is what drives their decisions. For some people it is money; for others, it is power or knowledge.

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Rise above

Difficult people drive you crazy because their behavior is so irrational. 

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Accept them exactly as they are. 

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Try to avoid getting into a fight-or-flight response, which inevitably leads to becoming defensive

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Encourage difficult people to express themselves

Let them fully state their point of view about the issue/conflict/problem without interruption. What do they feel people misunderstand about them? What do they want or expect from others? 

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