Learn more about personaldevelopment with this collection
How to ask open-ended questions
How to avoid awkward silences
How to show interest in others
Meet criticism with empathy
The most powerful tool for responding to criticism is empathy.
We are in a much better position to learn from criticism (and minimize its sting) when we think of it as something that is happening in someone else’s head.
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Overvaluation of negativity
We tend to be more passive in life than we would be if we weighed negativity and positivity the same.
Bad outcomes seem to weight more in terms of punishment than good outcomes weight in terms of benefit, so it can seem sensible to speak out and try new things as infrequently as possible.
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Criticism is not about you
Criticism is about all the critic’s experience, not the target’s.
It all begins with an internal reaction between what the critic sees and what it reminds him of.
The critic is really just reacting to an appearance that happened to include you, filtered through his own worldvi...
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Accepting criticism
Criticism weighs more on our emotions than praise does.
We remember negative events more vividly than positive ones, and we give more emotional weight to a loss than an equivalent gain.
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How we perceive criticism
While the process for the critic is very often superficial and ephemeral when we’re criticized we take it as an indictment of our selves directly, of our very being.
From the sender, it may really mean “I don’t like what this seems like,” but to the recipient, it feels like “...
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Practice Empathy
- You can’t experience everyone else’s lives to fully understand them, but you can listen. Put aside your preconceptions or skepticism and allow the person you’re talking to a chance to explain how they feel.
- Take up a contrary position to your own: If you think your bos...
Overdoing It On Empathy
Empathy is elicited when we perceive someone or something in need, when we value their welfare, and most importantly, when we take their perspective.
Eliciting empathy can be a very effective way to obtain support. But it stops working the moment the pain becomes too great, as the...
Criticism
We all tend to take criticism personally, and get emotionally triggered. A better way is to be objective, and take criticism as if it is towards a third person. Simply pausing after it is given to us, and asking oneself a level-headed question about it being true is another good way to overcome a...
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