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The Best Response to Criticism

https://www.raptitude.com/2014/12/the-best-response-to-criticism/

raptitude.com

The Best Response to Criticism
I learned early on that criticism feels about ten times as bad as praise feels good. For a while I assumed this was a neurosis only I and other recovering pessimists had. But when I started blogging, I kept hearing the same thing from other writers: one critical comment makes you forget a dozen positive ones.

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Accepting criticism

Criticism weighs more on our emotions than praise does. 

We remember negative events more vividly than positive ones, and we give more emotional weight to a loss than an equivalen...

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Overvaluation of negativity

We tend to be more passive in life than we would be if we weighed negativity and positivity the same.

Bad outcomes seem to weight more in terms of punishment than good outcomes weight in term...

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Elbert Hubbard

“To escape criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Elbert Hubbard

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Criticism is not about you

Criticism is about all the critic’s experience, not the target’s. 

It all begins with an internal reaction between what the critic sees and what it reminds him of.

The criti...

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How we perceive criticism

While the process for the critic is very often superficial and ephemeral when we’re criticized we take it as an indictment of our selves directly, of our very being. 

From th...

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Meet criticism with empathy

The most powerful tool for responding to criticism is empathy.

We are in a much better position to learn from criticism (and minimize its sting) when we think of it as something that i...

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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Turn The Heat Around

Make it your critic's job to prove themselves to you, rather than the other way around. 

99% of critics disappear when confronted with any kind of rigorous intellectual challenge.

Preparing For Battle

No one is going to engage in a serious debate with you when you look prepared for an academic beat down.

If someone attacks your work in a nasty way, don't get angry. Say instead something like:  “it’s interesting that you should say that because my research (cite some book or blog post) seems to suggest that the opposite is actually true. Is there some study or paper you can point me to that would validate your claim?”

Get Inspired

Use the criticism of your past work to generate ideas for new projects. 

For example, researching a response to a critic may lead you to read about or experience something you never would have before, which can open the door for all sorts of new experiments in your professional or personal projects.

one more idea

“He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.” 

 Abraham Lincoln

The Importance Of Negative Feedback

Even when poor behavior affects our work negatively and we have a regularly established open space for criticism, we still often hold back for fear of getting a negative reaction.

Most people rather receive feedback on what they did wrong than just praise on their successes. So while we tend to categorize this as negative feedback, the communication is often viewed positively.

Don’t Overcomplicate Criticism

Too often, people over complicate the process of giving corrective feedback. It doesn’t require elaborate stories or some pop psychology analysis. 

Just a straightforward discussion with a few key points will do.

How to criticize with kindness

  • Re-express your target’s position so fairly that your target says, “Thanks, I wish I’d thought of putting it that way".
  • List any points of agreement (especially if they are not matters of general or widespread agreement).
  • Mention anything you have learned from your target.
  • Only after, you can say so much as a word of criticism.