Embarrassment is a self-conscious emotion dictated by a disconnect between how we feel we should respond or act in public and how we actually respond or act.
We are most likely to be embarrassed when we believe we have not lived up to what society asks of us or when we are on the receiving end of undesired attention.
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Humans tend to overestimate just how negatively people will view us, we get trapped inside of our own head and lose perspective on just how little people are actually paying attention to us.
Therapy can help reestablish a more healthy perspective on just how little people are actually judging us.
Our minds see embarrassment as a threat, as do our bodies.
A unique feature of the veins in your face and neck is that they are equipped to respond to social threats. Though embarrassment isn’t the only cause for our face turning red (guilt, shyness, or shame can also trigger this) it is a big part of it.
When we struggle with something that most people don’t seem to struggle with, we start to think there's something wrong with us. And we tend to live in ways that avoid making our struggles obvious: we avoid the situations in which we feel like we don’t fit and that prevents us from ever learning what exactly is happening.
We communicate with each other as a habit but miss a lot in what a conversation really holds.
Our lack of listening skills, our inner chatter, and the urge to speak about ourselves is clouding any real, worthwhile exchange of words.
Bringing awareness, or mindfulness, to the way we communicate with others has both practical and profound applications.
We can train ourselves to:
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