Two ways to beat rejection

Do not let it bother you in the first place, and then minimizing its effects after it's wreaked its havoc.

Vihaan Das (@vihadas) - Profile Photo

@vihadas

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Self Improvement

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Don't become sensitive to rejection
Many times the rejection does 50 percent of the damage and we do the other 50 percent of the damage. 

We start with this high volume of negative self-talk and criticism that takes the rejection to another level.

Rejection hurts

Humans are social animals -- which makes rejection all the more emotionally painful.

Anything that keeps us out of the group in an overt way, we're going to have a hard time with. It's an important aspect of who we are.

Identifying the hardest-hit

People whose self-esteem is lower will experience rejection as more painful, and it'll take them a little longer to get over it. Those who have higher self-esteem -- but who aren't narcissists -- tend to be more resilient.

Rejection-sensitive people might think about 'How can I get myself out of this situation?' or how to avoid a situation altogether.

  • Build resilience. Remind yourself of your qualities and worth. 
  • Remind yourself of how much you are loved by having friends come over who value and care about you.
  • It's not always about you. Think about what might be going on for the other person. 
  • People change their reactions based on your behavior toward them.
  • Find someone you can trust to serve as a sounding board can help you gain perspective. 

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RELATED IDEAS

Rejection hurts

And we tend to interpret the pain incorrectly - we connect rejection to our self-worth, which makes us feel worse.

Rejection can benefit you. It can build resilience and help you grow and use the lessons you learn to future setbacks.

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IDEAS

The silent treatment

Silent treatment comes in many forms: social isolation, stonewalling, ghosting. Research suggests two in three individuals have used the silent treatment against someone else.

A father stopped talking to his teenage son and couldn't start again, changing his son from a happy boy to a spineless jellyfish. A wife whose husband stopped communicating after a minor disagreement eventually ended when her husband died 40 years later.

The silent treatment goes by many names: shunning, social isolation, stonewalling, ghosting. Although psychologists have nuanced definitions for each term, they are all essentially forms of ostracism.

The silent treatment is a particularly insidious form of abuse because it might the victim to reconcile with the perpetrator in an effort to end the behavior, even if the victim doesn’t know why they’re apologizing.

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