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This Is Why Rejection Hurts (And How To Cope)

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/rejection-coping-methods-research_n_4919538

huffpost.com

This Is Why Rejection Hurts (And How To Cope)
I've experienced it. You've experienced it. Even U2 has experienced it. Yet every time it happens, we're reminded again how not fun it is to be rejected. Rejection knows no bounds, invading social, romantic and job situations alike.

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Don't become sensitive to rejection

Don't become sensitive to rejection
Many times the rejection does 50 percent of the damage and we do the other 50 percent of the damage. 

We start with this high volume of negative self-talk and criticism that takes the rejection to another level.

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Rejection hurts

Rejection hurts

Humans are social animals -- which makes rejection all the more emotionally painful.

Anything that keeps us out of the group in an overt way, we're going to have a hard time with. It's an important aspect of who we are.

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Identifying the hardest-hit

Identifying the hardest-hit

People whose self-esteem is lower will experience rejection as more painful, and it'll take them a little longer to get over it. Those who have higher self-esteem -- but who aren't narcissists -- tend to be more resilient.

Rejection-sensitive people might think about 'How can I get myself out of this situation?' or how to avoid a situation altogether.

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Two ways to beat rejection

Do not let it bother you in the first place, and then minimizing its effects after it's wreaked its havoc.

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Don't let rejection get the best of you

  • Build resilience. Remind yourself of your qualities and worth. 
  • Remind yourself of how much you are loved by having friends come over who value and care about you.
  • It's not always about you. Think about what might be going on for the other person. 
  • People change their reactions based on your behavior toward them.
  • Find someone you can trust to serve as a sounding board can help you gain perspective. 

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