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This Is Why Rejection Hurts (And How To Cope)
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Don't become sensitive to rejection
We start with this high volume of negative self-talk and criticism that takes the rejection to another level.
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Rejection hurts
Humans are social animals -- which makes rejection all the more emotionally painful.
Anything that keeps us out of the group in an overt way, we're going to have a hard time with. It's an important aspect of who we are.
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Identifying the hardest-hit
People whose self-esteem is lower will experience rejection as more painful, and it'll take them a little longer to get over it. Those who have higher self-esteem -- but who aren't narcissists -- tend to be more resilient.
Rejection-sensitive people might think about 'How can I get myself out of this situation?' or how to avoid a situation altogether.
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Two ways to beat rejection
Do not let it bother you in the first place, and then minimizing its effects after it's wreaked its havoc.
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Don't let rejection get the best of you
- Build resilience. Remind yourself of your qualities and worth.
- Remind yourself of how much you are loved by having friends come over who value and care about you.
- It's not always about you. Think about what might be going on for the other person.
- People change their reactions based on your behavior toward them.
Find someone you can trust to serve as a sounding board can help you gain perspective.
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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
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Key Ideas
Rejection
Rejection and failure and disappointment are a regular feature of ordinary life, no matter how successful someone may be.
Any set of circumstances in which one reaches out for so...
Keep the odds in mind
If the odds are long, that is not a reason for not trying; it is a reason not to be discouraged by failure.
For instance, sending in a resume in response to an advertised job has been studied. Approximately two percent receive a response. That is not an argument for giving up. It is a matter of the odds. Sending in a couple of hundred resumes shifts the odds in your favor.
Keep more than one iron in the fire
Having a manuscript rejected by one publishing house is less devastating if that book is being considered at the same time somewhere else.
An unsuccessful job interview does not feel so bad if another one is scheduled for tomorrow.
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Acknowledging Emotions
Trying to minimize the pain by convincing yourself—or someone else—it was “no big deal” will only prolong your pain. The best way to deal with uncomfortable emotions is to face them head-on....
Rejection and pushing limits
If you never get rejected, you may be living too far inside your comfort zone.
You can’t be sure you’re pushing yourself to your limits until you get turned down every now and then. When you get rejected for a project, passed up for a job, or turned down by a friend, you’ll know you’re putting yourself out there.
Treat yourself with compassion
Whether you got dumped by your long-term love or blindsided by a recent firing, beating yourself up will only keep you down. Speak to yourself like a trusted friend.
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Confidence and self-perception
Confidence=becoming comfortable with what you are not
The solution to the confidence conundrum is not to feel as though you lack nothing and delude yourself into believing you already possess everything you could ever dream. The solution is to simply become comfortable with what you potentially lack. - Mark Manson
Confidence comes through failure
Those among us who are the most comfortable with negative experiences are those who reap the most benefits. Comfort in our failures allows us to act without fear, to engage without judgment, to love without conditions