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How to Handle Rejection and Overcome the Fear of Being Rejected
Diffuse the fear of being rejected
... by acknowledging and expecting it can and will hurt.
To overcome the sting of rejection, stop trying to avoid feeling that stings. Stop pretending your unaffected if indeed, you are.
Listen to the voice’s mix of rage, sadness, loss, and loneliness. You will start to feel relief simply by no longer pretending you’re invincible and allowing the flood of your feelings to flow.
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Key Ideas
Diffuse the fear of being rejected
... by acknowledging and expecting it can and will hurt.
To overcome the sting of rejection, stop trying to avoid feeling that stings. Stop pretending your unaffected if indeed, you are.
Listen to the voice’s mix of rage, sadness, loss, and loneliness. You will start to feel relief simply by no longer pretending you’re invincible and allowing the flood of your feelings to flow.
Interrupting rumination
Make a contract with your partner, family, and friends allowing them to catch you in the throes of verbal diarrhea when you were unfairly treated.
Work out three or four different activities that will distract you and turn your attention to something productive.
Regulate the number of rejection opportunities
... you expose yourself to.
We all have a different threshold of the amount of rejection we can handle. Wisely considering how much more you can handle is essential.
Before you take another step forward, ask yourself if you have the right resources and support in place to catch you.
Attach a different meaning
- Is it possible that the deductions I am making about myself are actually not true?
- Is it possible that this rejection is just an indication that what I wanted to belong to and be part of is not a suitable fit for me?
- Could this rejection be a guiding rail to steer me back on the course I am truly meant to be on?
- Could this actually be a grand opportunity to grow and expand into a better version of myself?
Recalibrate the rejection experience
Ask yourself after you have allowed some time to pass after the initial experience of your rejection:
- Could I have idolized the situation or person which has now led me to feel such a deep sense of unworthiness?
- Could I have put the person or opportunity on a pedestal which made the fall of being rejected so much harder on impact?
- Are there negative attributes about the situation that I was not seeing because I was wanting this so badly?
Learn to build resilience
... to diffuse the fear of future rejection.
- Proactively review your behavioral patterns and resources and forecast your recovery strategy should you be in the firing line to take a fall in the future.
- By predicting how your emotions and thoughts could be sent into a spin, you give yourself a stronger sense of maintaining self-control should rejection hit.
- Invest in things that restore your energy, strength, and willingness to bounce back.
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Find the blessings in rejection
In many cases, rejections are blessings in disguise. Maybe you don't want those customers that rejected your product.
Refer and direct those customers to your competitors that fit their needs. They certainly would not forget the lengths you went to. Such service is rare.
Feed your growth mindset
You might initially doubt yourself, question your competency and your self-worth but after you have weathered the storm, activate your growth mindset and start asking questions:
What can I do differently? What have I discovered about myself? What changes can I make? What will I do differently next time?
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Stuck in a state of passivity
Passive behavior is the sense of feeling a lack of motivation, energy, and willpower. It is often the cause of people feeling stuck at work or in their life.
It occurs whe...
Lack of motivation leads to passive behavior
The most common cause of passive behavior is being unmotivated.
It is a myth that motivation needs to come before action. More often, it is action that leads to motivation. You forced yourself to get in your workout gear and then suddenly felt ready to go. You forced yourself to meet friends and ended having a great time.
Action comes first, then motivation follows. When you feel unmotivated and passive, do something. Motivation and productivity will follow behind.
Lack of goals lead to passivity
When your only goal is to make it through the week, you may feel like you spend your life going through the motions with the same tasks week in and week out. It can become very dull. Finding meaningful goals can change all of that.
Meaningful goals can be spread out across all areas of life. Find purposeful goals within the work section of your life. Volunteer for a charity or get involved in other projects. Doing so will inevitably lead you out of passive behavior.
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Motivation
Motivation is not a switch. Motivation is a flow.
If you can create a self sustaining motivation engine, you’ll not only be able to find more meaning and purpose in your life, bu...
Motivation Engine in 3 parts
- Core. Your purpose. It is sustained by two things: Having Meaning, and Forward Movement.
- Support. What enables your goals. They can magnify the motivation core you have, or speed up the momentum that you build.
- Surface. Any type of external recognition that might give you motivation.