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How to Handle Rejection and Overcome the Fear of Being Rejected
Diffuse the fear of being rejected
... by acknowledging and expecting it can and will hurt.
To overcome the sting of rejection, stop trying to avoid feeling that stings. Stop pretending your unaffected if indeed, you are.
Listen to the voice’s mix of rage, sadness, loss, and loneliness. You will start to feel relief simply by no longer pretending you’re invincible and allowing the flood of your feelings to flow.
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Interrupting rumination
Make a contract with your partner, family, and friends allowing them to catch you in the throes of verbal diarrhea when you were unfairly treated.
Work out three or four different activities that will distract you and turn your attention to something productive.
Regulate the number of rejection opportunities
... you expose yourself to.
We all have a different threshold of the amount of rejection we can handle. Wisely considering how much more you can handle is essential.
Before you take another step forward, ask yourself if you have the right resources and support in place to catch you.
Attach a different meaning
- Is it possible that the deductions I am making about myself are actually not true?
- Is it possible that this rejection is just an indication that what I wanted to belong to and be part of is not a suitable fit for me?
- Could this rejection be a guiding rail to steer me back on the course I am truly meant to be on?
- Could this actually be a grand opportunity to grow and expand into a better version of myself?
Recalibrate the rejection experience
Ask yourself after you have allowed some time to pass after the initial experience of your rejection:
- Could I have idolized the situation or person which has now led me to feel such a deep sense of unworthiness?
- Could I have put the person or opportunity on a pedestal which made the fall of being rejected so much harder on impact?
- Are there negative attributes about the situation that I was not seeing because I was wanting this so badly?
Learn to build resilience
... to diffuse the fear of future rejection.
- Proactively review your behavioral patterns and resources and forecast your recovery strategy should you be in the firing line to take a fall in the future.
- By predicting how your emotions and thoughts could be sent into a spin, you give yourself a stronger sense of maintaining self-control should rejection hit.
- Invest in things that restore your energy, strength, and willingness to bounce back.
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You Are Not Your Thoughts
You can decide what thoughts to ignore in your mind
The only way to stop identifying yourself with your thoughts is to stop following through on all your thoughts ✋ . Instead, decide to live in the present moment—where you don’t have time to think, only to experience.
4 Steps to stop overthinking 🧠
1. Raise your awareness throughout the day.
2. When you raise awareness, immediately start observing your thoughts.
3. Only limit your thinking to specific moments that you need it.
4. Enjoy your life! Let go of all your thoughts about yesterday and tomorrow.
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Key Ideas
Motivation
Motivation is not a switch. Motivation is a flow.
If you can create a self sustaining motivation engine, you’ll not only be able to find more meaning and purpose in your life, bu...
Motivation Engine in 3 parts
- Core. Your purpose. It is sustained by two things: Having Meaning, and Forward Movement.
- Support. What enables your goals. They can magnify the motivation core you have, or speed up the momentum that you build.
- Surface. Any type of external recognition that might give you motivation.
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Key Ideas
Prepare for rejection
Always have a rejection-processing protocol in place. Debrief with personal and professional support people who can empathize and appreciate your experiences without passing judgment, criticizing o...
Find the blessings in rejection
In many cases, rejections are blessings in disguise. Maybe you don't want those customers that rejected your product.
Refer and direct those customers to your competitors that fit their needs. They certainly would not forget the lengths you went to. Such service is rare.
Feed your growth mindset
You might initially doubt yourself, question your competency and your self-worth but after you have weathered the storm, activate your growth mindset and start asking questions:
What can I do differently? What have I discovered about myself? What changes can I make? What will I do differently next time?
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