Learn to build resilience - Deepstash

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How to Handle Rejection and Overcome the Fear of Being Rejected

Learn to build resilience

... to diffuse the fear of future rejection.

  • Proactively review your behavioral patterns and resources and forecast your recovery strategy should you be in the firing line to take a fall in the future.
  • By predicting how your emotions and thoughts could be sent into a spin, you give yourself a stronger sense of maintaining self-control should rejection hit.
  • Invest in things that restore your energy, strength, and willingness to bounce back. 

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Prepare for rejection

Always have a rejection-processing protocol in place. Debrief with personal and professional support people who can empathize and appreciate your experiences without passing judgment, criticizing or looking to give you immediate advice. 

Overcoming rejection actually occurs from accepting the emotions that come with it.

Find the blessings in rejection

In many cases, rejections are blessings in disguise. Maybe you don't want those customers that rejected your product.

Refer and direct those customers to your competitors that fit their needs. They certainly would not forget the lengths you went to. Such service is rare.

Feed your growth mindset

You might initially doubt yourself, question your competency and your self-worth but after you have weathered the storm, activate your growth mindset and start asking questions: 

What can I do differently? What have I discovered about myself? What changes can I make? What will I do differently next time? 

Attachment and control

With attachment comes a very strong urge to control the circumstances.

You put yourself at risk by investing so much of yourself into something,  unwilling to believe that there is a tiny chance that it might not quite work out the way you plan.

Passion and attachment

Feeling too much passion and attachment towards something can skew our perception of it.

And that's risky because it can make us unwilling to see the flaws in our plan.

Simone Weil
Simone Weil
“Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be obtained only by someone who is detached. ”
Think of Yourself Less

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.  - CS Lewis

Self-esteem that is bound to external success can lead to small spurts of happiness but is not long lasting. Focus more on the betterment of yourself for the sake of those around you, rather than for your own ego.

Be Busy, but Not Rushed

Research shows that feeling “rushed” is a one-way street to stress and unhappiness. Too much boredom can be burdensome. 

To find a balance, learn to say "no" to opportunities that do not excite you.

Be Proactive About Your Relationships

Do:

  • Check-in regularly with good friends (around 2 weeks for very close friends).
  • Celebrate the good things in their life; let them know through active and constructive listening. 
  • Studies show people love hearing themselves talk and talking about themselves, so let them.