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How to Be Happy When You're in an Unhappy Situation : zen habits
Allow yourself to be unhappy
Wanting to get away from the unhappiness doesn’t make it better. It usually just prolongs the pain.
Instead, tell yourself that it’s OK to feel unhappy. Pause and allow yourself to feel it, to fully immerse in that unhappiness. Be curious about it, explore it, become intimate with it. It’s not pleasant, but it doesn’t kill you. In fact, it’s where the healing starts.
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6
Key Ideas
Happiness
Happiness, like other emotions, is not something you acquire. It is something you are.
This implies that happiness is not a goal that you can reach. It is a side effect of a particular se...
Happiness is not the same as pleasure
While pleasure is correlated with happiness, pursuing pleasure does not cause happiness.
People who focus their energy on materialistic and superficial pleasures end up more anxious and less happy in the long run. Pleasure is necessary, but it's insufficient.
Lowering one’s expectations
Failing to meet your own expectations is not the opposite of happiness. Your ability to fail and still appreciate the experience is key to happiness.
The joy is not in getting what you want, but the process of working towards it, then raising the bar, and doing it again. If you fail, learn from it.
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Key Ideas
Change and the unchangeable
Meaning and relationships
- We generate meaning through relationships. And meaning is the fuel of our minds.
- Our relationships also define our understanding of ourselves. And when one of these relationships is destroyed, that part of our identity is destroyed along with it.
Depression vs. sadness
- Sadness occurs when something feels bad.
- Depression occurs when something feels meaningless.
When something feels bad, at least it has meaning. In depression, everything becomes a big blank void.
4
Key Ideas
Time is Limited Yet Abundant
Most of us conflict with time. Time is a paradox and is both limited and abundant at the same time. We can do great things with time, provided we know how to use this invis...
Use Time Intentionally
Once we realize that every moment is a gift, we will not waste it but use it intentionally, for something important and meaningful.
It is important that we set some clear priorities and create space for them.
Contemplating Death
This exercise makes us value our limited time and sheds away the unnecessary activities from our day.
We start living a vivid life, and slow down, becoming fully present in the moment, savoring time like a limited edition treat before it vanishes.