Blame is an Emotion

Blame is not responsibility. It is the absurd act rejecting the reality we’ve been given and charging an unwilling and perhaps unwitting party with improving it, even if that party is an inanimate object sometimes.

And blaming is not useful.

244 STASHED

Blame is Useless

raptitude.com

MORE IDEAS FROM THE ARTICLE

We have a tendency to find some part of our environment to scold — a person or thing — whenever we run into some kind of problem in our lives.

We search for a source to our suffering and we tend to settle on people as the source of the misery because we know that people are capable of being responsible for what they’ve done.

291 STASHED

It is taking responsibility for what happens to us, regardless of who we might think caused it. 

When blame enters the picture, we start rejecting reality itself, which is the very definition of suffering.

368 STASHED

1 LIKE

Assigning responsibility to others is sometimes possible, but blame itself doesn’t need to be a part of it:

  • When we blame, most often we are attempting to delegate responsibility to somebody who isn’t willing to accept it.
  • Pinpointing one single person as the ultimate cause of a particular problem is a little nearsighted. Causes and effects are never conveniently cut and dried.

240 STASHED

Blame is a defense mechanism. What we’re defending ourselves from is our own responsibility for dealing with the unpleasant experience we’ve been given.

The benefit in blame is that it allows us to avoid feeling like we’re failing ourselves, that we lack the strength and maturity to come to terms with the reality of unfairness or bad luck.

361 STASHED

We can feel safe in pretending that our distress is not evidence of inadequacy in ourselves, but of one in someone else.

239 STASHED

Deepstash helps you become inspired, wiser and productive, through bite-sized ideas from the best articles, books and videos out there.

GET THE APP:

RELATED IDEAS

We judge ourselves and others morally for things that didn't come out as intended, were unforeseen, or were influenced by factors beyond one's control. 

The judgment we should receive is based on how our actions turned out, rather than our intentions, no matter how good they were. This is called 'Moral Luck'.

77 STASHED

Parenthood, the Great Moral Gamble - Issue 2: Uncertainty - Nautilus

nautil.us

Changing careers
You and you alone are responsible for creating your own future. 

Time to give serious thought to this life-shaping question: What exactly are you going to do with the rest of your life? There has never been a better time than right now to change the course of your life and that means changing your career.

191 STASHED

1 LIKE

Miserable At Work? How To Make A Career Change

forbes.com

Habit-formation apps are aspirational tools

They're less about distilling your life into a series of data points and more about becoming your ideal self: If you use their app, you too can become a person who practices good habits. You can become someone who exercises and meditates every day and always drinks eight glasses of water.

95 STASHED

Why habit tracking apps alone can't help you keep your New Year's resolutions

vox.com