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7 Ways To Work On Your Relationship With Yourself
Practice Identifying Your Feelings
When you know what your feelings are, they're not scary anymore.
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Key Ideas
Listen To Yourself
If you are in pain in any way or something makes you uncomfortable, that means something is not right. Figure out why.
That "something" could be a choice to change your life but most often, it's a shift in how you see yourself and what you focus on most.
Identify The Root Of Problems
Once you know where it began, you can realize that you perhaps adopted the wrong idea about yourself based on what you thought was true in the moment.
If you struggle with low self-esteem, for example, imagine the first time you felt ashamed of yourself. Think about what made you feel that way and why. This is the only way you can truly rectify it.
Take Care Of Yourself
... in the practical ways:
- Go for wellness checks
- Make dentist appointments
- Prioritize sleep
- Eat well and often
- Wear weather-appropriate clothes and shoes that you're comfortable in
- Connect with people who make you feel loved
- Save some money
- Have your own back before you expect anyone else to.
Practice Identifying Your Feelings
When you know what your feelings are, they're not scary anymore.
Stand Up For Yourself
You won't start a war to saying: "I don't appreciate you speaking about me in this way," but you will reinforce a kind of self-empowerment that most people never develop in the first place.
Be Honest About What You Think
At least with yourself.
Just because you can't always speak your entire truth does not mean that you don't have to consciously acknowledge what it is.
Have A Plan
Know what you'd do in the event of a breakup, a job loss, the freaking apocalypse.
Have a savings account, an escape already planned.
SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
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Key Ideas
Don’t accuse
Be conscious not to point blame at your partner by phrasing sentences that start with words such as “You make me... “ or “You didn’t…”
Instead, begin by saying, “I feel hurt ...
Listen
Once you voice what’s bothering you, be sure to hear how your partner responds. Give him or her a chance to speak and listen to what he or she says.
It may be that you’re misinterpreting the behavior, he or she wasn’t conscious of how you feel, or you’re doing or saying something to influence them.
Be consistent
A devoted husband or wife will want to support you when you need it most, but not if you take your anxiety out on them or take his or her love for granted.
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It's not all about you
A self-centered worldview will have you chasing boogeymen where they don’t exist.
Stop psycho-analyzing every word choice your partner makes and be more present in the moment so ...
Stop psyching yourself out
Have you ever found thinking negative thoughts like, “I know they’ll get sick of me someday,” or, “How could they love me?”
These thoughts have little to do with reality but a lot to do with fear.
Stop lugging around all that baggage
A little baggage is totally okay, but you need to lighten your load before jumping into any new relationship.
Let go of any left-over hurtful feelings that might be lingering and realize that your new relationship is a new opportunity to put all of that behind you.
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You don’t paraphrase or restate
Practice paraphrasing instead of responding with nods, a-ha's, and yeah's.
This type of communicating makes your partner feel like they are getting real attention and empathy.
Focusing on the person instead of the issue
Try to talk about the issue at hand and how it makes you feel.
For example:
“It makes me feel frustrated that you forgot what I wanted. Is there a way I can help you to remember next time?”
Not showing your appreciation
It is important to remind your partner you appreciate them.
This generates a warm and loving atmosphere as a backdrop to your relationship.
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