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4 Ways to Stop Beating Yourself Up, Once and For All

Notice The Critic

Constantly slowing down and paying more attention to your thoughts will help you notice self-criticism. Negative emotions such as doubt, guilt, shame, and worthlessness are often signs of self-criticism.

Once you are aware of the critical voice, you will be in a position to stand up to it.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

4 Ways to Stop Beating Yourself Up, Once and For All

4 Ways to Stop Beating Yourself Up, Once and For All

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201603/4-ways-stop-beating-yourself-once-and-all

psychologytoday.com

4

Key Ideas

Replace Self-Criticism

Our brains automatically look for evidence that matches up with what we believe about ourselves, but often disregards other evidence to the contrary.

To break this automatic tendency, deliberately say something different to yourself and then actively search for evidence that the new statement is true. The more examples you come up with to support your alternate view, the less self-criticism will come around. 

Talk Back

Talking back to your inner critic is an important part of taking away its power. 

Telling the critic you don’t want to hear what it has to say begins to give you a sense of choice in the matter. 

Separate The Critic From You

Self-criticism isn’t innate to us, it’s internalized based on outside influences, such as other people’s criticism, expectations, or standards. It’s a habit that can be unlearned or controlled.

One way to separate yourself from the self-criticism is to give it a name. Doing so, you better positioned to free yourself from its influence.

Notice The Critic

Constantly slowing down and paying more attention to your thoughts will help you notice self-criticism. Negative emotions such as doubt, guilt, shame, and worthlessness are often signs of self-criticism.

Once you are aware of the critical voice, you will be in a position to stand up to it.

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Replace The Bad With Some Good

Take a negative thought and change it to something encouraging that's also accurate. Repeat until you find yourself needing to do it less and less often. 

Notice And Stop That Thought

Simply stopping negative thoughts in their tracks can be helpful. This is known as "thought-stopping" and can take the form of snapping a rubber band on your wrist, visualizing a stop sign, or simply changing to another thought when a negative train of thought enters your mind.

Say It Out Loud

Telling a trusted friend what you're thinking about can often lead to support or a good laugh when the negative self-talk is ridiculous. Even saying some negative self-talk phrases under your breath can remind you how unreasonable and unrealistic they sound, and remind you to give yourself a break.

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Embrace Your Imperfections

It's freeing and relaxing to stop holding yourself to insanely high standards. Success overwhelmingly requires failure and perseverance, not perfection.

So relax your standards ...

Pick Up The Phone

Shame works better if we keep it secret. So find the courage to do the counterintuitive thing and tell someone what happened -- invariably those conversations end with laughter.

Give Your Rants a Name, Too

Instead of feeling like it's some kind of valid feedback, this highlights how consistent the stories are. 

We have pretty much the same thoughts today that we had yesterday, which should clue us into the fact that they're habits, not necessarily truths.

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Hating Ourselves
Hating Ourselves

"I hate myself" is a common self-talk. You really are your worst enemy, however painful this may feel.

Feelings of self-hatred and unworthiness are felt by a majority of people. E...

Effects of Self-Hatred

Self-hatred gives us negative thoughts, telling us we are unattractive, lack confidence, and are generally unworthy. If we listen to it, we give it power. We then create a negative shield around us and will have trouble accepting love and compassion.

The internal negative breeding will attract further negativity in our lives and relationships.

How To Stop Hating Yourself
  • Pay attention to your triggers by reflecting on your thoughts and actions, identifying your inner negative talk.
  • Question and challenge your negative thoughts, and detach from them.
  • Start saying positive affirmations to yourself to counter the negativity.
  • Reframe your negative thoughts by changing your point of view.
  • Spend time with positive people who fill you with joy.
  • Seek professional help as this may be a mental health issue.