The question implies that someone is acting out of line and makes people defensive.

First choose words of reassurance, then paraphrase what the perceived problem is. “Let me see if I understand your position…”

This phrase sounds sarcastic and does not help the conversation. It may also seem like you want to duck responsibility.

Instead, think of ways to help the person solve the problem or point the person toward someone who can help them if you are unable to help. If neither of the options i...

The words "Calm down!" makes people feel criticised and suggests their reasons are invalid for being upset.

Instead of saying, "Calm down," try saying, "It's going to be alright. Talk to me. What's the matter?" It shows that you want to understand the person's circumstances ...

This phrase is a lie, as most people say it repeatedly.

Instead, try saying in a calm voice, “Listen, it’s essential that you get this point, so pay close attention to what I’m about to tell you.” Another technique is to list what you want the person to do and encourage them to consider...

Ordering someone in the office to come to you may feel like you have authority but can damage their respect for you.

Instead, saying in a calm voice, "Would you mind if we chatted for a bit?" or "May I talk to you?" is more effective as people feel they can act of their free will.