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6 Rules for Healthy Friendships
Listen to your friends
Friendships require attention and tending — if we don’t truly know what a friend needs, and if we don’t clearly state what we’re feeling or needing ourselves, friendships just won’t survive.
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Key Ideas
Support, trust, and honesty
Friendships are built on mutuality and reciprocity — be there for her, so that she will be there for you.
If you can’t be straight with her or feel the need to hide your actions or tell untruths, the relationship is being built on shifting sand and won’t be able to withstand any real challenges.
Listen to your friends
Friendships require attention and tending — if we don’t truly know what a friend needs, and if we don’t clearly state what we’re feeling or needing ourselves, friendships just won’t survive.
Ditch the judgment
Assume the best and give your friend the benefit of the doubt. If you’re quick to assume the worst and ready to lay down blame, you’re not going to be the kind of friend that anyone wants for the long haul.
Don’t talk behind a friend’s back
There’s no rule that says you have to love what your friend is wearing, who your friend is dating, how your friend is raising her kids or any other choices your friend is making.
There is an unspoken rule that you don’t bash your friend’s choices to others behind her back. Gossip damage reputation.
Respect your friends' boundaries
Respect your friends’ boundaries as well as their stories. Some friends may have a difficult time letting people get close to them for fear of being hurt.
Don’t crowd your friends — give them the space they need to feel comfortable, and let the relationship deepen over time.
Forgive when you can
No one promises to bring perfection to a relationship.
If you’re able to admit when you’ve failed to hold up your end of the relationship, it’s a lot more likely that a friend will be able to forgive and move forward.
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Essential for our survival
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Advantages of friendships
Friendships create diversity. Your chances of dealing with certain problems are increased if you have friends with different skillsets.
- For instance, the death of a partner. Your survival is dependent on having close friends who can support you through difficult times.
- Friends with different interests, strengths, and weaknesses provide a safe space to help us test our ideas and develop our character.
- Friends with different talents can help us realize our own potential.
- Our life expectancy increases with a network of reliable friends.
A key component of success
If friendship becomes another checkbox on your to-do list, you're probably going to miss out on good friendships.
If we put in some effort into learning how to become a good friend, the rest will come easier. With friendships, we live longer, with more laughter, less fear, and a higher quality of life.
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Key Ideas
Be opportunistic
Learn to notice opportunities for potential friends.
We let many friendship opportunities pass us by because we feel awkward or too shy. Instead of small talk, invite them for coffe...
Make yourself vulnerable
We have to put our fears aside that someone might not like us or may have too many friends already.
If you like someone you meet, ask to swap numbers and follow through with an invitation to socialize.
Start by doing an activity together
Suggest an activity that you can do together. It will anchor your time together and give you something to focus on or talk about.
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