Ditch the judgment
Assume the best and give your friend the benefit of the doubt. If you’re quick to assume the worst and ready to lay down blame, you’re not going to be the kind of friend that anyone wants for the long haul.
MORE IDEAS FROM THE ARTICLE
Friendships are built on mutuality and reciprocity — be there for her, so that she will be there for you.
If you can’t be straight with her or feel the need to hide your actions or tell untruths, the relationship is being built on shifting sand and won’t be able to withstand any real challenges.
Friendships require attention and tending — if we don’t truly know what a friend needs, and if we don’t clearly state what we’re feeling or needing ourselves, friendships just won’t survive.
There’s no rule that says you have to love what your friend is wearing, who your friend is dating, how your friend is raising her kids or any other choices your friend is making.
There is an unspoken rule that you don’t bash your friend’s choices to others behind her back. Gossip damage reputation.
Respect your friends’ boundaries as well as their stories. Some friends may have a difficult time letting people get close to them for fear of being hurt.
Don’t crowd your friends — give them the space they need to feel comfortable, and let the relationship deepen over time.
No one promises to bring perfection to a relationship.
If you’re able to admit when you’ve failed to hold up your end of the relationship, it’s a lot more likely that a friend will be able to forgive and move forward.
RELATED IDEAS
In order for a relationship where both people feel seen, it must develop vulnerability.
As we spend more consistent time together, we are also incrementally revealing and sharing more of who we are with each other. The more we let someone see us (always increasing our positivity with responses such as affirmation, acceptance, and empathy) then the more loved we’ll feel for who we are.
Friendships need to be carefully acquired to avoid negative influences. Friendships need a continuous effort that can be difficult to manage. They will go through ups and downs and will be subject to time pressure and geographical constraints.
However, our ability to form friendships is critical and a fundamental part of who we are.
- Evaluate your relationships and find out which friendships need a deeper connection.
- Make plans that encourage conversation like going to an art exhibit, taking a class, or cooking together.
- Don't shy away from difficult emotional subjects.
- Create time to be supportive of them. Deeper relationships take more time and effort to maintain.