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How to Stop Overreacting to Everything
Reacting and Overreacting
Not all intense responses are overreactions.
The problem arises when you start to react in a bigger way than justified. Overreactions never make the situation better.
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Reacting and Overreacting
Not all intense responses are overreactions.
The problem arises when you start to react in a bigger way than justified. Overreactions never make the situation better.
Types Of Overreactors
- Internal: they overthink the things that don't go their way and are unable to put their focus onto something else.
- External: they yell, scream, or snap back at people when something isn't exactly how they want it.
Know Your Triggers
This way, you can learn to be more in control of your reactions:
- Identify the things that bother you the most (rejection, criticism, or even something that has nothing to do with you).
- Think about basic contributing factors like lack of sleep, being hungry or thirsty, or being overworked.
Pause Before Responding
Take a deep breath. It will slow down your fight or flight response and allows you to choose a more thoughtful and productive response.
The FAA System
- Freeze: Notice the changes within you (tension, temperature, heart rate). Keep breathing and cool down.
- Analyze: Think about what just happened rationally. Find a way to be compassionate and avoid personalizing what happened to you.
- Act: Express yourself with "I" statements or remove yourself from the situation. If you're still upset, find a way to rechannel how you feel.
Gain Perspective
- Separate yourself from the event to gain an outside perspective.
- Don't punish yourself for overreacting.
- Ask yourself: Why did I do that? What could I have done differently? Did it even matter?
Don't Bottle Up Your Emotions
Address the past if possible and resolve any emotional leftovers you might have: vent to a friend or keep a journal.
Emotional baggage becomes more fuel when your bomb goes off.
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Negative emotions may lead to a feeling of emptiness or an emotional void.
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Emotional vs. true hunger
Physical hunger
- It develops slowly over time.
- You desire a variety of food groups.
- You feel the sensation of fullness and take it as a cue to stop eating.
- You have no negative feelings about eating.
Emotional hunger
- It comes about suddenly or abruptly.
- You crave only certain foods.
- You may binge on food and not feel a sensation of fullness.
- You feel guilt or shame about eating.
Emotional hunger isn’t easily quelled
While filling up could work in the moment, eating because of negative emotions often leaves people feeling more upset than before.
This cycle typically doesn’t end until a person addresses emotional needs head-on.
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What causes binge eating
- You do a lot of cardio.
- You have been on a caloric deficit for months.
- Your diet is extremely restrictive.
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Go easy on the cardio
Cardio doesn't always necessarily lead to excess hunger or binging.
Some people are more sensitive to large quantities of cardio and are more binge-prone than others. Reducing the amount of cardio lessens the urge to binge or makes it disappear altogether.
Increase your total calories
Binge eaters tend to aggressively cut calories while leaning on willpower to deal with hunger and lack of energy.
But willpower is limited, so this strategy will backfire.
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Reaching out privately to a colleague can feel weird because making the active decision to initiate a conversation usually creates the expectation that you want something.
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Reach out
Reaching out and offering your help to a new colleague, for example, is a great way to start a conversation.
It can feel weird, but in a remote setup, this is the only way these chats will happen.
Respond privately
A great way to start a conversation with a teammate is to respond privately to comments made in public channels.
For example:
- Your comment was very funny!
- Great job on solving that tricky issue!
- Thank you for answering my question, I appreciate your perspective.
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Control your breath to better control your anger
When you feel anger, try controlling your breath. This will result in your entire body instantly calming down. Remember, anger can never prove productive.
Magical phrases to fight your anger
Whenever you feel angry, try repeating certain phrases that you know for a fact that will calm you down. If you do not have them already prepared, take a few minutes during a normal day to think about what these phrases could sound like.
Fancy a happy place to keep your anger under control
Fancying a happy and calm place whenever you are angry helps you deal better with the negative feeling. Furthermore, focusing on both your breathing and your environment has a positive effect on your mood and allows you to relax.
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Hating Ourselves
"I hate myself" is a common self-talk. You really are your worst enemy, however painful this may feel.
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Effects of Self-Hatred
Self-hatred gives us negative thoughts, telling us we are unattractive, lack confidence, and are generally unworthy. If we listen to it, we give it power. We then create a negative shield around us and will have trouble accepting love and compassion.
The internal negative breeding will attract further negativity in our lives and relationships.
How To Stop Hating Yourself
- Pay attention to your triggers by reflecting on your thoughts and actions, identifying your inner negative talk.
- Question and challenge your negative thoughts, and detach from them.
- Start saying positive affirmations to yourself to counter the negativity.
- Reframe your negative thoughts by changing your point of view.
- Spend time with positive people who fill you with joy.
- Seek professional help as this may be a mental health issue.
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Sabotaging yourself
Sabotaging yourself and your relationships create unnecessary pain and self-generated stress.
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Know your typical thinking patterns
Our personality and life experiences predispose us to dominant modes of thinking, but these can be biased in ways that are unhelpful in the majority of situations.
Maybe you tend to worry people are angry at you when usually this isn’t the case. Or you tend to hesitate too much in making decisions.
When you thoroughly understand your personal thinking errors, you’ll be able to correct these, and this will become easier and almost automatic with practice.
Prioritize one-time behaviors that reduce stress
Streamline your workflow so you can get simple things done without significant willpower.
For example, instead of having a container for pens and scissors in only one room of the house, have these in three different rooms to ensure better tidying.
Strategies like these save time and, more importantly, help free you up mentally.
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Emotions During a Difficult Conversation
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Breathe
When you start noticing yourself getting tense, try to focus on breathing (on feeling the air coming in and out of your lungs).
This will take your attention off the physical signs of panic and keep you centered.
Focus on your body
Sitting still when you’re having a difficult conversation can make the emotions build up rather than dissipate.
Standing up and walking around helps to activate the thinking part of your brain.
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