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How to deal with uneasy tension in the office - SmartCompany
Confront negative feelings
Negative feelings that come up during the conflict need to be confronted. If they have not been fully worked out they need to be brought up again.
If this is not done effectively in the beginning things may look like they are sorted out only to resurface sometime later.
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Key Ideas
Embrace conflict
Don’t avoid conflict or pretend nothing has happened as it usually will only get worse.
- If you notice a conflict between employees, encourage them to work it out.
- If a ...
Resolving conflict
- Talk together. Each person should have adequate time to say what he or she believes the other party needs to hear.
- Listen carefully to gain understanding. Give your complete attention to the person who is talking without interrupting.
- Resolution is possible only when you find points of agreement.
- Guide the conversation without taking sides.
Be quick to forgive. Every conflict needs a clear resolution that acknowledges hurt feelings and finds a solution that begins to mend them.
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Ask questions
It helps you preserve your neutrality.
It is effective in getting others to pause, reflect, and get clear with themselves about what the problem actually is.
You may get each ...
Be mindful during a conflict situation
- All issues are best dealt with as soon as all involved are calm.
- Start with one-on-one conversations to get the details of the issue from both perspectives.
- Recognize that there is no objective reality of the situation.
Probing questions to ask
Once you have the basics of what happened and how long it has been going on, you can move on to asking more probing questions:
- What is the other person saying?
- How does what you've been hearing go against your values?
- What is the difference between your two perspectives?
- What aspects of this conflict do you believe you're responsible for?
- Can you put yourself in your coworker's shoes? How does she feel?
- If we were to think outside of the box, how could this issue be resolved?
- What will happen to you if this issue isn't resolved through this discussion?
- What would you offer to do or change to help resolve this issue? What would you like in return?
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Key Ideas
Address It Directly
When conflict arises, you need to raise the issue with the parties involved.
Emphasize the need for your employees to address it. Explain that negative feelings and thoughts c...
Listen to Both Sides
Speak with each party separately to gain their perspective on what the tension is all about.
Make sure that along with any emotional information, you discuss specific facts or events that led up to or inflamed the situation.
Bring Both (All) Parties Together
Allow them to share their version of the events or issues.
Often, this step will elicit issues or facts that the other party was unaware of.