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Which of These Four Attachment Styles Is Yours?
Disorganized Attachment Style
- Some people are doing the opposite of what should ideally be done.Their internal fears and their avoidant attitude are a paradox, and they cannot figure out if they want emotional closeness or not.
- They deny their own feelings and never fully trust the other person.
- The feelings of jealousy and rivalry come easily to them.
- This style is often the result of some major loss or trauma in their lives, which made them never take security and closeness for granted.
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Key Ideas
Attachment Styles
We all have a personal bonding style, which is based early on in life according to our upbringing and how we act, feel and think in a close relationship.
Attachment is our bond with our first caregiver, which is usually a parent. The style we form while growing up usually stays with us in adulthood and beyond.
Secure Attachment Style
- When a partner has a secure attachment style, they feel comfortable and confident in their relationship and in their significant other.
- There is a feeling of connectedness, trust, and freedom as both the partners let the other have independence and offer full support all the time.
- A strong and secure life amply supported by one’s parents builds the foundation of this style.
Dismissive Or Avoidant Attachment Style
- Many people find it uncomfortable to trust the other person or to get too emotionally close.
- They are self-sufficient and do not need emotional intimacy.
- They quickly pull away and ‘go in a cave’ when rejected or hurt.
- Having negligent or abusive parents is associated with people having this style, and they often suppress their internal need for love and care.
Anxious Or Preoccupied Attachment Style
- Some people are always craving for emotional intimacy, even when the other person is not serious or romantic.
- They are in a constant need of approval and reassurances from their partner, and tend to be anxious when the other person isn’t providing any.
- These people are dependent on others for their self-worth and are often involved with people who don’t like this clingy style.
Disorganized Attachment Style
- Some people are doing the opposite of what should ideally be done.Their internal fears and their avoidant attitude are a paradox, and they cannot figure out if they want emotional closeness or not.
- They deny their own feelings and never fully trust the other person.
- The feelings of jealousy and rivalry come easily to them.
- This style is often the result of some major loss or trauma in their lives, which made them never take security and closeness for granted.
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