Relationship Apocalypse
The Four Horsemen of The Relationship Apocalypse:
- Criticism: is staging the problem in a relationship as a character flaw in a partner.
- Defensiveness: responding to relationship issues by counterattacking or whining.
- Contempt: acting like you’re a better person than they are.
- Stonewalling: shutting down or tuning out.
MORE IDEAS FROM THE ARTICLE
The best predictor of relationship success is how you and your partner tell your “story of us.”
Do you focus on the negative aspects or on the positive ones? Do you present your partner in a good light or in a bad light?
... is the most important part of a relationship.
How you start those serious relationship discussions predicts how the conversation goes. Start off positive and calm. And then listen.
Admiration is about the story you tell yourself about your partner.
Masters see their partners as better than they really are. Disasters see their partners as worse than they really are.
It means getting to know your partner really well, including his/her internal psychological world.
Ask questions, deep and personal ones. Get past“When will you be there?” or “Don’t forget to pick up milk.”
RELATED IDEAS
Good relationships take commitment and effort.
The challenge for couples is cultivating a mature and trusting love that is the key to a lasting relationship.
Merging your own ever-shifting life, needs and wants with those of another person takes work if it is to succeed.
How much work it actually takes might ebb and flow, but expect to invest attention and work even in the best of times.
Power in relationships is the ability of each person in the relationship to influence each other and direct the relationship.
Being in control makes people feel good and may place the drive for rewards above the intimacy and connection we have with our partners.
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