The "Story Of Us"

The "Story Of Us"

The best predictor of relationship success is how you and your partner tell your “story of us.”

Do you focus on the negative aspects or on the positive ones?  Do you present your partner in a good light or in a bad light?

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@carlos_tb

Love & Family

MORE IDEAS FROM THE ARTICLE

Building "Love Maps"

It means getting to know your partner really well, including his/her internal psychological world.

Ask questions, deep and personal ones. Get past“When will you be there?” or “Don’t forget to pick up milk.”

The Four Horsemen of The Relationship Apocalypse:

  • Criticism: is staging the problem in a relationship as a character flaw in a partner.
  • Defensiveness: responding to relationship issues by counterattacking or whining.
  • Contempt: acting like you’re a better person than they are.
  • Stonewalling: shutting down or tuning out.

... is the most important part of a relationship.

How you start those serious relationship discussions predicts how the conversation goes. Start off positive and calm. And then listen.

Show Admiration

Admiration is about the story you tell yourself about your partner.

Masters see their partners as better than they really are. Disasters see their partners as worse than they really are.

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Commitment, Love, and Romance

Good relationships take commitment and effort.

The challenge for couples is cultivating a mature and trusting love that is the key to a lasting relationship.

How to Have a Better Relationship - Well Guides

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Power in relationships is the ability of each person in the relationship to influence each other and direct the relationship.

Being in control makes people feel good and may place the drive for rewards above the intimacy and connection we have with our partners.

The signs of unhealthy power dynamics in a relationship-and how to even them out

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  • Soft language: it uses “I” statements and focuses on the actions that took place, how they made us feel, and what we want to happen.
  • Hard language: it starts with a generic hyperbole like “You always…” or “Why do you never…” 

The softer and kinder our words, the less defensive we become.

How to Fight Well in Your Relationship - Tiny Buddha

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