Learn more about communication with this collection
How to build trust and respect with team members
How to communicate effectively
How to motivate and inspire others
Tell a story
Instead of giving direct advice, tell a brief story about what happened to you or someone else that could shed light on your friend’s situation.
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434 reads
MORE IDEAS ON THIS
Ask identity questions
Identity questions help your friend get in touch with the values that make them the person they are.
“What is really important to you?"; “What kind of life do you want to lead?”; and, "What kind of person do you want to become?"
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329 reads
Empathize
Try, “You are in a tough situation"; Sounds like you’re between a rock and a hard place"; or "I’m so sorry you have to face this kind of problem right now.”
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389 reads
Use the skill of tentativeness
“Tentative” means “not fully worked out, uncertain, or hesitant."
Instead of assuming an expert stance, offer observations with a “beginner’s mind.” For example, say, “I’m not sure, but perhaps you worry that…”; or, “If you felt comfortable doing it, you could consider trying ….”
148
402 reads
Just be there
Listen. Your very presence can be a comfort to a friend. Sometimes keeping someone company while they go through their trials is a gift in itself.
157
537 reads
Give advice
If you feel compelled to give direct advice, do it.
Some friends truly want and need to hear your opinion. Honest feedback, even when it may be hard to hear, can be just the tonic they need. Emphasize that your friend can take your advice or leave it.
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384 reads
Expand your friend’s perspective
If your friend seems to be afflicted with tunnel vision, help them expand their perspective. You could say, “There could be another way to look at this. What about…?”
You could also expand perspective by pointing out the consequences of their actions to their future self: “This m...
151
297 reads
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Name the story
Emotions are the result of both what happens, and of the story you tell yourself about what happened.
- A victim story: it absolves you of your responsibility for what happened.
- A villain story: it exaggerates the faults of others and makes them responsible for what...
Tell a story
When someone tells a story, the brain of the other person may be in sync with the storyteller. If you can stimulate the other person’s brain with a story, you can, in effect, get that person on your side.
Tell a story
Dry information and stats don’t inspire people to make a change or listen to you.
We don't usually remember facts, figures or statistics. Storytelling is how you make your advice human, relatable and real.
Keep your story short and concise.
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