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Your Attachment Style Determines the Quality of Your Connections
Anxious-Preoccupied
- This could be you if you often feel like you give more to relationships than you get back.
- You worry people don't value you.
- You tend to exaggerate when you show people the value you place on them.
- This anxiety might not be attractive to people that don't have the same attachment style.
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Attachment style
Dismissive-Avoidant
- This could be you if you put your independence above all.
- You tend to think less of others.
- You carefully guard your emotions and try at all costs to keep away from rejection.
- You're more likely to connect with people who express the anxious-preoccupied type because they’re more likely to accept the power imbalance.
Fearful-Avoidant
- This could be you if you are independent, but because you struggle with trusting others.
- You fear that you might get hurt by other people.
- You seem detached and distrustful and that will influence in a negative way the way people interact with you.
The Secure Attachment Style
- With a secure attachment style, you are comfortable with showing and accepting vulnerability.
- You are self-aware: you know who you are are you are comfortable in your skin.
- You don’t really worry about being lonely or if people accept you, and being connected to others is as important as maintaining your independence.
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Attachment Theory
Attachment theory is an area of psychology that describes the nature of emotional attachment between people, starting with your parents. The quality of how well you were cared for will then influen...
Secure Attachment Style
- People with this style are comfortable showing interest and affection.
- They are comfortable being alone and independent.
- They can correctly prioritize their relationships.
- They are able to draw clear boundaries and stick with them.
50% of the population is secure attachment types.
Anxious Attachment Style
- They are often nervous and stressed about their relationships.
- They need constant reassurance and affection from their partners.
- They have trouble being alone or single.
- They are often in unhealthy or abusive relationships.
- They have trouble trusting people.
- Their behavior can be irrational and overly emotional.
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- Even the silence that they exhibit seems to kindle the patients into divulging more of their most uncomfortable truths.
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- Therapists play varied roles to get some valuable information out of the patient and make him better.
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Rekindling Of An Old Flame
Breakups and subsequent renewals are quite common across all types of romantic relationships and even marriages.
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The Protest Phase
When people experience breakups they go through the ‘protest’ phase initially, and the rejected lover becomes obsessed with winning back the person who has quit the relationship.
Rejection, paradoxically, makes the rejected person love the partner even more. This is called a ‘Frustration Attraction’, and can be categorized as an addiction.
Chemical Reactions
The rejected lover experiences high levels of dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain, and are visibly stressed out. These chemical reactions trigger many to do crazy things to win their ex back. Such feelings are erased quickly if the lover starts dating a new partner.
Some people also feel increasingly passionate and loving after the breakup and are more likely to forgive their ex.
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