deepstash
Beta
Deepstash brings you key ideas from the most inspiring articles like this one:
Read more efficiently
Save what inspires you
Remember anything
Your Attachment Style Determines the Quality of Your Connections
5
Key Ideas
Save all ideas
Attachment style
532 SAVES
568 READS
Anxious-Preoccupied
- This could be you if you often feel like you give more to relationships than you get back.
- You worry people don't value you.
- You tend to exaggerate when you show people the value you place on them.
- This anxiety might not be attractive to people that don't have the same attachment style.
618 SAVES
654 READS
Dismissive-Avoidant
- This could be you if you put your independence above all.
- You tend to think less of others.
- You carefully guard your emotions and try at all costs to keep away from rejection.
- You're more likely to connect with people who express the anxious-preoccupied type because they’re more likely to accept the power imbalance.
521 SAVES
549 READS
Fearful-Avoidant
- This could be you if you are independent, but because you struggle with trusting others.
- You fear that you might get hurt by other people.
- You seem detached and distrustful and that will influence in a negative way the way people interact with you.
500 SAVES
520 READS
The Secure Attachment Style
- With a secure attachment style, you are comfortable with showing and accepting vulnerability.
- You are self-aware: you know who you are are you are comfortable in your skin.
- You don’t really worry about being lonely or if people accept you, and being connected to others is as important as maintaining your independence.
673 SAVES
708 READS
SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
8
Key Ideas
Ending friendships
Sometimes a friendship can become so painful or unhealthy that we need to end it.
But we often don't have clear guidance or formulas to make these decisions. Our negative emotions drive...
Attachment bonds
We commonly form attachment bonds with a friend. Although we don't talk about it, we do have unspoken psychological expectations when our friends become attachment figures.
The indicator of a secure attachment figure is that s/he is consistent, available, warm, and responsive. But an insecure attachment style (preoccupied, dismissing, or fearful) might struggle with friendship expectations or the ability to provide a secure base to others.
A secure attachment style
You are likely able to accept the good with the bad in your friends. You may get close to your friends but will also give them space. If you feel hurt by a friend, it won't consume you.
You will have seen enough relationships go through the ups and downs so that you know not all relationships last. You know you can tolerate the loss and are free to continue getting close to people.
9
Key Ideas
Attachment Theory
Attachment theory is an area of psychology that describes the nature of emotional attachment between people, starting with your parents. The quality of how well you were cared for will then influen...
Secure Attachment Style
- People with this style are comfortable showing interest and affection.
- They are comfortable being alone and independent.
- They can correctly prioritize their relationships.
- They are able to draw clear boundaries and stick with them.
50% of the population is secure attachment types.
Anxious Attachment Style
- They are often nervous and stressed about their relationships.
- They need constant reassurance and affection from their partners.
- They have trouble being alone or single.
- They are often in unhealthy or abusive relationships.
- They have trouble trusting people.
- Their behavior can be irrational and overly emotional.
8
Key Ideas
The Way Therapy Works
This seems eve...
Therapy Techniques
- Some therapists are just there to listen and provide a backdrop.
- Even the silence that they exhibit seems to kindle the patients into divulging more of their most uncomfortable truths.
- Others keep the sequence of assignments and tests lined up, never pausing.
- Therapists play varied roles to get some valuable information out of the patient and make him better.
Therapy That Works
No particular form of therapy is proven to be better or more effective than others.
Different people prefer or respond to different forms of therapy.