Your Attachment Style Determines the Quality of Your Connections - Deepstash

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Your Attachment Style Determines the Quality of Your Connections

https://riskology.co/attachment-style/

riskology.co

Your Attachment Style Determines the Quality of Your Connections
The gist: The quality of your relationships is highly connected to your attachment style. You built yours long ago without knowing it, but it's never too late to improve it. When it comes to making friends and connections, I can be a tough nut to crack.

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Attachment style

It describes the way you relate to others based on how you perceive yourself and the people around you.

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Anxious-Preoccupied

  • This could be you if you often feel like you give more to relationships than you get back.
  • You worry people don't value you.
  • You tend to exaggerate when you show people the value you place on them.
  • This anxiety might not be attractive to people that don't have the same attachment style.

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Dismissive-Avoidant

  • This could be you if you put your independence above all.
  • You tend to think less of others.
  • You carefully guard your emotions and try at all costs to keep away from rejection.
  • You're more likely to connect with people who express the anxious-preoccupied type because they’re more likely to accept the power imbalance.

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Fearful-Avoidant

  • This could be you if you are independent, but because you struggle with trusting others.
  • You fear that you might get hurt by other people.
  • You seem detached and distrustful and that will influence in a negative way the way people interact with you.

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The Secure Attachment Style

  • With a secure attachment style, you are comfortable with showing and accepting vulnerability.
  • You are self-aware: you know who you are are you are comfortable in your skin.
  • You don’t really worry about being lonely or if people accept you, and being connected to others is as important as maintaining your independence.

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A secure attachment style

You are likely able to accept the good with the bad in your friends. You may get close to your friends but will also give them space. If you feel hurt by a friend, it won't consume you.

You will have seen enough relationships go through the ups and downs so that you know not all relationships last. You know you can tolerate the loss and are free to continue getting close to people.

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Secure Attachment Style

  • People with this style are comfortable showing interest and affection. 
  • They are comfortable being alone and independent.
  • They can correctly prioritize their relationships.
  • They are able to draw clear boundaries and stick with them.

50% of the population is secure attachment types.

Anxious Attachment Style

  • They are often nervous and stressed about their relationships.
  • They need constant reassurance and affection from their partners.
  • They have trouble being alone or single.
  • They are often in unhealthy or abusive relationships.
  • They have trouble trusting people.
  • Their behavior can be irrational and overly emotional.

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