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7 Ways To Improve Communication With Your Partner

Listen

Once you voice what’s bothering you, be sure to hear how your partner responds. Give him or her a chance to speak and listen to what he or she says. 

It may be that you’re misinterpreting the behavior, he or she wasn’t conscious of how you feel, or you’re doing or saying something to influence them. 

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7 Ways To Improve Communication With Your Partner

7 Ways To Improve Communication With Your Partner

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/7-ways-to-improve-communication-with-your-partner_b_59b7e8fde4b0678066213e76

huffpost.com

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Key Ideas

Don’t accuse

Be conscious not to point blame at your partner by phrasing sentences that start with words such as “You make me... “ or “You didn’t…

Instead, begin by saying, “I feel hurt when…” or “I’m upset when…” Your partner will be less likely to be defensive if you don’t sound as though you’re in attack mode.

Listen

Once you voice what’s bothering you, be sure to hear how your partner responds. Give him or her a chance to speak and listen to what he or she says. 

It may be that you’re misinterpreting the behavior, he or she wasn’t conscious of how you feel, or you’re doing or saying something to influence them. 

Be consistent

Healthy communication happens during the smallest of moments, not only at meals and when you’re on vacation. Speak nicely to your partner and try your best not to let stress or other distractions get the best of you. 

A devoted husband or wife will want to support you when you need it most, but not if you take your anxiety out on them or take his or her love for granted.

Touch often

Communication is not only verbal. Hold hands. Kiss him or her hello and goodbye. Let your partner know without words just how much he or she means to you. 

Touching coupled with the right language can add depth to your relationship that words cannot.

Ask questions

Not everyone is forthcoming with information, especially if something is bothering them. 

Make it a habit of asking your partner how he or she is doing and how his or her day was, even if your spouse is not always interested in speaking with you at length at that exact moment. 

Remain open

Problems tend to build as opposed to disappearing when we keep issues that are bothering us bottled up inside. 

If you’re having a problem, raise it with your partner, bearing in mind your delivery.

Compliment your partner

Little acknowledgments here and there communicate to your partner that you notice him or her and are happy he or she is a part of your life. If your husband cooked you a special dinner, acknowledge it. If your wife had her hair done, tell her how lovely she looks.

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Fear and resentment

When having important discussions with our partners, we face the fear that they are not really hearing us.
This could lead us to develop a form of resentment because we may not feel validated by them. We might also misinterpret their body language and words and feel hurt and disrespected by them.

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Listen

To mindfully listen means to wait patiently for the other person to finish before we speak. Also, it means keeping our mind focused on the speaker, instead of wandering ...

Practise non-judgment

To mindfully converse and avoid conflicts, we need to try our best to refrain from judging the other person’s opinion, story or perspective. We should come to terms with the fact that there is no wrong or right — only different perceptions.

Show understanding

Show others that you understand them. For example, say “I understand” or “I see what you mean.” It gives them a sense of comfort that their words and feelings are relatable.

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Take Care Of Yourself

... in the practical ways:

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  • Save some money
  • Have your own back before you expect anyone else to.

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Pointless Criticism

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Ineffective Complaining

Complaining is exhausting because it puts pressure on the other person. 

Complaining often results in the other person feeling as if they should somehow “fix” the problem or else just get away from the complaining. 

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Lesson 3: Determination conquers all

King George VI’s success was assured as soon as he made the decision to work hard to become a more effective speaker.

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It all comes down to knowing what’s important to people so you can understand, empathize and work with them a little better. 

We all have different life experiences; we come from different backgrounds. It makes sense that we communicate differently, too.

Think in terms of a “bank account”
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Don’t get defensive
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When you’re wrong, own it
If you’re wrong, don’t shy away or hope it just goes away. 

Take responsibility for your actions, be sincere, and work to make the other person feel accounted for and reassured that you’ll behave better next time. 

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  • Failure to Write Down Decisions. Writing down and reading back key decisions is an important way for everyone to move in the same direction.

  • Wasteful Meetings. To save everyone's time, only hold meetings to make decisions and/or to improve relationships.

  • Spin. If you want people to truly listen, be sure they can believe what you say. Encourage transparency and truth-telling.

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  • Inept Listening. Listen carefully and ask great questions. Create meaning from the responses. 

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