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7 Ways To Improve Communication With Your Partner

Listen

Once you voice what’s bothering you, be sure to hear how your partner responds. Give him or her a chance to speak and listen to what he or she says. 

It may be that you’re misinterpreting the behavior, he or she wasn’t conscious of how you feel, or you’re doing or saying something to influence them. 

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Personal needs
Personal needs

Working parents tend to focus all their energy on work or family and put their own needs on hold. With the current crisis, parents have even less time for their own needs while they juggle work and family life.

But the benefits of taking care of ourselves are undeniable. And while we know the benefits, it can be challenging to communicate our personal needs to our partner.

Know what you need

Take two minutes right now and list what would most benefit you. It could be taking 15 minutes to decompress after work. Or to have a few hours a week to read a book. Or even guitar lessons.

Highlight what sticks out to you the most on your list. Then decide what top few choices are suitable for your available time and finances.

Communicate your needs

To have a successful and productive conversation with your partner about your needs and desires:

  • Timing is everything. Set a time aside together that is free of distractions, relatively peaceful, and not when you are overtired.
  • Remember, you're on the same team. Handle the conversation with gentleness and without criticism.
  • Actively listen. To encourage understanding, don't just listen to respond. Truly try to understand how your partner feels.
  • It's about giving and taking. Relationships are about mutual understanding, compassion, and sacrifice.
  • Do regular relationship checkups to foster connection and open communication.
Be together for the right reasons
Be together for the right reasons

The most common reason people cite why their marriage fail is that people marry someone for the wrong reasons, such as pressure from friends and family, being together for image, thinking that love will solve everything.

But what makes a relationship work is a genuine, deep-level admiration for each other.

Realistic relationship expectations

Romantic love, though able to make us feel ecstatic at times, is also irrational and temporary.

True love is impervious to emotional whims or fancy. It is a constant commitment to a person regardless of present circumstances. Some days will be a struggle, and other days you will feel like the luckiest person in the world. True love is more satisfying and meaningful and brings true happiness, not just a series of highs.

Respect in relationships

People who have been through divorces almost always say communication is the most important thing. But the thing people with happy marriages consider the most important is a deep respect for their partner as well as respect for themselves.

  • Respect means never talking bad about your partner or complain about them to your friends.
  • Respect that they have different hobbies, interests, and perspectives.
  • Respect that they have an equal say in the relationship, that you are a team.
  • No secrets. Respect means you feel safe sharing your deepest, most intimate selves with each other.
Relationship Advice From Counter-Terrorism Experts
Relationship Advice From Counter-Terrorism Experts

According to leading counter-terrorism experts, the same methods that aid communication and co-operation with terrorists and criminal suspects can be applied at home and work to solve relationship issues.

As people turn hostile, and the conversation gets harder, the techniques usually used for gaining the trust and co-operation of violent criminals start to work on our loved ones.

Reverse Psychology
  1. The more we push someone to do something, the more they resist and rebel.
  2. The more urgently we need information from someone, the harder it could get for us to get it out of a person.
  3. Building rapport, and providing autonomy to the person help thaw out the relationship and get things moving.
Forming A Connection
  • With the help of the right communication, attitude and gestures, a rapport can be formed with the other person (like a teenager or a spouse).
  • The power balance needs to be restored/shared, so the person who is ‘closed’ finds a reason to open up.
  • Threatening, blackmailing and trickery rarely work in such situations, with a humble, submissive and empathetic person having a much better chance at being effective.