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7 Ways To Improve Communication With Your Partner
Ask questions
Not everyone is forthcoming with information, especially if something is bothering them.
Make it a habit of asking your partner how he or she is doing and how his or her day was, even if your spouse is not always interested in speaking with you at length at that exact moment.
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Don’t accuse
Be conscious not to point blame at your partner by phrasing sentences that start with words such as “You make me... “ or “You didn’t…”
Instead, begin by saying, “I feel hurt when…” or “I’m upset when…” Your partner will be less likely to be defensive if you don’t sound as though you’re in attack mode.
Listen
Once you voice what’s bothering you, be sure to hear how your partner responds. Give him or her a chance to speak and listen to what he or she says.
It may be that you’re misinterpreting the behavior, he or she wasn’t conscious of how you feel, or you’re doing or saying something to influence them.
Be consistent
A devoted husband or wife will want to support you when you need it most, but not if you take your anxiety out on them or take his or her love for granted.
Touch often
Communication is not only verbal. Hold hands. Kiss him or her hello and goodbye. Let your partner know without words just how much he or she means to you.
Touching coupled with the right language can add depth to your relationship that words cannot.
Ask questions
Not everyone is forthcoming with information, especially if something is bothering them.
Make it a habit of asking your partner how he or she is doing and how his or her day was, even if your spouse is not always interested in speaking with you at length at that exact moment.
Remain open
Problems tend to build as opposed to disappearing when we keep issues that are bothering us bottled up inside.
If you’re having a problem, raise it with your partner, bearing in mind your delivery.
Compliment your partner
SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
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Key Ideas
Poor communication
The lack of communication is one of the main reasons for break-ups, divorces and for seeking couple therapy, according to studies.
Poor communication is also related to conflict-based con...
Fear and resentment
When having important discussions with our partners, we face the fear that they are not really hearing us.
This could lead us to develop a form of resentment because we may not feel validated by them. We might also misinterpret their body language and words and feel hurt and disrespected by them.
The antidote to fear
Fear is the enemy of healthy communication. The antidote would thus be developing safety.
When we feel safe, we can talk about anything in healthy ways. You should also make sure you help your partner feel safe when talking to you.
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Key Ideas
Pointless Criticism
In the context of poor communication, criticizing is when you knock someone down for the wrong reasons: to hurt someone, to vent your frustrations or to boost your ego.
It’s easy enoug...
Blaming
When you blame someone, you take any responsibility off of yourself and put it on them.
It’s understandable that you want to express your dissatisfaction with something. But sometimes you need to express it in order to find a solution, not to point singers.
Ineffective Complaining
Complaining is exhausting because it puts pressure on the other person.
Complaining often results in the other person feeling as if they should somehow “fix” the problem or else just get away from the complaining.
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Listen
To mindfully listen means to wait patiently for the other person to finish before we speak. Also, it means keeping our mind focused on the speaker, instead of wandering ...
Practise non-judgment
To mindfully converse and avoid conflicts, we need to try our best to refrain from judging the other person’s opinion, story or perspective. We should come to terms with the fact that there is no wrong or right — only different perceptions.
Show understanding
Show others that you understand them. For example, say “I understand” or “I see what you mean.” It gives them a sense of comfort that their words and feelings are relatable.
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