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Saying 'no': How to use the Hourglass method (cont'd)
- The last step before responding is to consider the future. Project whether your yes or no benefits or harms you or your team days from now. How will your response protect your time and focus? Howwill it impact results? Will it challenge or support your relationships and influence?
- At the base of the Hourglass, it’s time to make your decision and note your considered response. Make a choice, write it down, then deliver it with the confidence bred by the intentionality you’ve shown. (This entire process can shorten to an automatic moment or two once it has become familiar.)
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MORE IDEAS ON THIS
Saying 'no': How to use the Hourglass method (cont'd)
- Jot down a few private thoughts about your motives, whether negative or positive.
- Consider next your recent history of similar yes or no choices. Think about if you’ve volunteered too much in the past and felt a pinch of resentment. Also look for where you may have said no to opport...
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The smartest people use a simple model and these 6 phrases to say 'no' when they need to
While “no” is a loaded word, it protects your time, energy and focus. Most people sense they need to say it more often, but tense up at the thought of delivering it. Typically, they realize they should have said no only after they failed to do so.
In our jumpy work world filled with halluc...
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Saying 'no': How to use the Hourglass method
- At the top of the Hourglass, begin by noting the flash response you initially had to the request: Yes or no? Write down whatever you felt like saying in the moment.
- Next is the critical consideration phase, in which you pause to examine three things: Your motives, your history, and y...
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Example phrases to help you say no
In simple situations, you’ll benefit from the collection of phrases below that can adapt to fit your style.
- “May I take a day to get back to you?”
Buy yourself time to work the Hourglass. When the interpersonal contact is broken, the intellect engages, better quipp...
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Example phrases to help you say no (cont'd)
- I can’t, but here’s another option for you.” Share an alternative or suggestion in place of you being able to help.
- “It’s not good for me now, but let’s look ahead in our calendars.” Be careful not to use a delay to avoid a necessary no. Of course, i...
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Saying 'no': How to use the Hourglass method (cont'd)
- Jot down a few private thoughts about your motives, whether negative or positive.
- Consider next your recent history of similar yes or no choices. Think about if you’ve volunteered too much in the past and felt a pinch of resentment. Also look for where you may have said no to opport...
Making it ok for someone to say No makes them want to say Yes
- The only way to make your dreams come true is to influence other people to change their behavior.
- Trying to influence someone means you’re a threat to their time, money, pride, or social capital. Most importantly, influence threatens their attention. But when you make an invitation...
Saying NO without guilt
- Notice how often people around you say no to each other every day. Also watch how others handle these situations.
- When you feel pressured for a yes, ask for time. It will allow you to calm down and evaluate whether you really want to do it ( "I ne...
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