Empathize - Deepstash
The Art of Leadership

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The Art of Leadership

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Empathize

Empathize

Try, “You are in a tough situation"; Sounds like you’re between a rock and a hard place"; or "I’m so sorry you have to face this kind of problem right now.”

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Ask identity questions

Identity questions help your friend get in touch with the values that make them the person they are. 

“What is really important to you?"; “What kind of life do you want to lead?”; and, "What kind of person do you want to become?"

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Just be there

Listen. Your very presence can be a comfort to a friend. Sometimes keeping someone company while they go through their trials is a gift in itself.

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Tell a story

Instead of giving direct advice, tell a brief story about what happened to you or someone else that could shed light on your friend’s situation.

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Give advice

If you feel compelled to give direct advice, do it. 

Some friends truly want and need to hear your opinion. Honest feedback, even when it may be hard to hear, can be just the tonic they need. Emphasize that your friend can take your advice or leave it.

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Use the skill of tentativeness

“Tentative” means “not fully worked out, uncertain, or hesitant." 

Instead of assuming an expert stance, offer observations with a “beginner’s mind.” For example, say, “I’m not sure, but perhaps you worry that…”; or, “If you felt comfortable doing it, you could consider trying ….” 

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Expand your friend’s perspective

Expand your friend’s perspective

If your friend seems to be afflicted with tunnel vision, help them expand their perspective. You could say, “There could be another way to look at this. What about…?” 

You could also expand perspective by pointing out the consequences of their actions to their future self: “This m...

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CURATED FROM

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alanaff

Travel aficionado Writer. Passionate social media geek. Reader.

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  • "I’m a good actor, I fooled them"
  • "It’s because they like me, they’re being polite, or it’s a social courtesy"
  • "It sounds more impressive than it is"
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Willingness to understand

If someone, for instance, has received a new medical diagnosis, you can say, "It sounds like you're worried about the side effects of the treatment. Is that right?"

You can also express kindness by saying, “You’re in such a tough situation.” A facial expression is also a power...

The art of the soft "no"

There is a difference between a hard “No, thank you” and a softer “Thanks so much for asking, but I’m not able to this week.” Another example: “Thank you so much for asking me to do this project. It sounds fascinating, but I don’t have the bandwidth for it at this time....

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