Learn more about communication with this collection
How to build trust and respect with team members
How to communicate effectively
How to motivate and inspire others
Expand your friend’s perspective
If your friend seems to be afflicted with tunnel vision, help them expand their perspective. You could say, “There could be another way to look at this. What about…?”
You could also expand perspective by pointing out the consequences of their actions to their future self: “This may seem like a good idea at this moment, but how will you feel in a week?”
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Ask identity questions
Identity questions help your friend get in touch with the values that make them the person they are.
“What is really important to you?"; “What kind of life do you want to lead?”; and, "What kind of person do you want to become?"
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Empathize
Try, “You are in a tough situation"; Sounds like you’re between a rock and a hard place"; or "I’m so sorry you have to face this kind of problem right now.”
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Use the skill of tentativeness
“Tentative” means “not fully worked out, uncertain, or hesitant."
Instead of assuming an expert stance, offer observations with a “beginner’s mind.” For example, say, “I’m not sure, but perhaps you worry that…”; or, “If you felt comfortable doing it, you could consider trying ….”
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Just be there
Listen. Your very presence can be a comfort to a friend. Sometimes keeping someone company while they go through their trials is a gift in itself.
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Tell a story
Instead of giving direct advice, tell a brief story about what happened to you or someone else that could shed light on your friend’s situation.
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Give advice
If you feel compelled to give direct advice, do it.
Some friends truly want and need to hear your opinion. Honest feedback, even when it may be hard to hear, can be just the tonic they need. Emphasize that your friend can take your advice or leave it.
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Establish a day for planning your schedule
Establishing a certain day, when you can sit and plan your next week can prove extremely useful.
For instance, choosing Friday to be that day, seems pretty clever, as this day marks both the end of a working week and, why not, the beginning of another one.
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