"Meant To Be" Relationships

"Meant To Be" Relationships

Relationships "meant to be" don't just work out. Relationships need to be actively managed otherwise your mutual passivity and lack of effort may doom it.

@maxwellc12

Love & Family

MORE IDEAS FROM THE ARTICLE

Good Relationships Take Work

Merging your own ever-shifting life, needs and wants with those of another person takes work if it is to succeed.

How much work it actually takes might ebb and flow, but expect to invest attention and work even in the best of times.

Your Partner’s Flaws

Loving your partner's flaws is not always realistic. Some people have habits that are slightly disgusting and impossible to "love." 

Simply accepting them and learning how to shrug them off and minimize their importance is much more realistic.

Going To Bed Angry

The context might be such that you just can’t solve a problem before bed. Be realistic and settle for an agreement to never go to bed without at least deciding when to continue the discussion or argument.

Also, some people actually need to cool down before they can continue a productive discussion, so taking a break could be wise.

Couples That Argue

It’s scientifically established that what matters is not if coupes argue but how they argue. 

Productive arguments avoid escalation and result in effective problem-solving and mutually agreed on takeaways for dealing with similar situations in the future. 

Focusing Only On Romantic Love

A good romantic relationship is not the only relationship you need. This might be true if both of you are massively co-dependent but assuming you’re not, one person asserting this to his or her partner is either an attempt to control that person or just sheer ignorance about our basic psychological need for friendship and community.

A Baby Doesn't Solve Problems

Having a baby is the most stressful thing you could possibly do to a relationship. Marital satisfaction almost always dips after the birth of a couple’s first child; account for that when doing family planning.

If you’re having problems a baby won’t make them disappear, so deal with them directly.

Assuming They Can Read Your Mind

Your partner can tell if you are upset but they’ve probably done a thousand things to upset you over the years, so figuring out which of them is the culprit this time is a risky proposition.

Don’t stew and wait for them to confess. Just telling them why you’re upset will save you both time and aggravation.

Sexual Expectations

Faulty sexual expectations often cause dissatisfaction. If one partner believes the frequency of sex in relationships should be different they may wrongly conclude that something is wrong with the relationship.

The frequency of sex depends on the sex drive of both partners, circumstances, and opportunities. And those are fluid things that only you and your partner can discuss and set.

Avoiding Voicing Dissatisfaction

The beginning of a relationship sets future expectations about the roles you each will play, your initiative levels, communication styles, and other relationship dynamics. 

When you don’t voice your dissatisfaction, your partner may interpret your silence as acceptance and grow to expect it, which perpetuates the situation.

Deepstash helps you become inspired, wiser and productive, through bite-sized ideas from the best articles, books and videos out there.

GET THE APP:

RELATED IDEAS

Ways you can protect your relationship:

  • Avoid opportunity. Avoid situations that could lead to bad decisions, such as late nights with colleagues.
  • Plan ahead for temptation. Remind yourself of steps you will take to avoid temptation and protect your relationship.
  • Picture your beloved. Focus on loving thoughts and the joy of your family.
  • Keep your relationship interesting.

8

IDEAS

'Opposites Attract' Beliefs

Although looking for someone who has the qualities you lack brings some benefits, it’s also a big plus to have similarities in your personal history, as well as interests in common. 

Coming from a similar background will make it easier for you and your partner to relate to one another.

If your partner comes to you with something that you did that upset them, listening to what they have to say and talking through it is more important than defending yourself – or trying to come up with something worse than they did.

© Brainstash, Inc

AboutCuratorsJobsPress KitTopicsTerms of ServicePrivacy PolicySitemap