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Beware of aggression
A deceptive person will get angry at the question. They may attempt to redirect the situation by accusing the questioner of discrimination or bias or by attacking a third party.
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Look at the nonverbal cues
The person will enter a phase of fight or flight. The strain of deception will typically cause the skin to flush or to turn cold and itch. The person will scratch their ears or nose. They will answer too quickly. They might fidget or suddenly tap nervously.
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Recognize evasiveness
A deceptive person will talk around the issue without actually answering the initial question.
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Manage your bias
Deceptive people can flood you with truthful answers and make you believe that they are good people.
Filter through all the information that is meant to deceive you to get to the real untruths.
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Analyze vs. speculate
Assuming folded arms are a sign of lying behavior is speculation.
Instead, consider whether the behavior is a result of your question, or possibly just nervousness.
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Watch for adding disqualifiers
Where a response of yes or no would convey the answer, the responder launches into a convincing explanation instead of answering the question. They may add disqualifiers such as “I won’t lie to you” or “honestly” in an attempt to convince.
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Watch for failure to deny
Listen and search for the direct denial of an accusation.
A guilty person will try to qualify the situation by saying words like “not really” or “not for the most part.”
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Increasing your voice creates stress and tension that often escalates into an argument or physical confrontation.
Yelling is a method used to control a situation by dominating the other person. When we get loud, the other person is forced into submission. ...
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Talking to yourself in the third person brings clarity, insight and greater emotional regulation about the current situation or problem.
The detachment that being in the third-person offers, removes the inherent emotional bias that one has, but is unaware of.
Anger ≠ aggression
Anger is an emotion, while aggression is a behavior. They differ entirely in one central dimension - control.
- You can't control your emotions directly. In the legal system, nobody gets sent to prison for how they felt...
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